


Soulmate Tattoos Fucking Suck

by Krembearry, Purplesauris



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Companion Piece, Fake AH Crew, GTA V AU, M/M, Mute!Ryan, NSFW, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Some mentions of gore, Soulmate Tattoos, Soulmates, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 09:12:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12578448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krembearry/pseuds/Krembearry, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplesauris/pseuds/Purplesauris
Summary: Ryan got his first tattoo at age 4, a series of words that had his parents in shock and Ryan feeling ashamed for a reason his parents wouldn't say. Four more tattoos were to come, and Ryan doesn't know why or who the people are. Slowly, everything falls into place, and five soulmates come crashing into Ryan's life.Companion piece: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12578384- Soulmates are Fucking Rad





	Soulmate Tattoos Fucking Suck

**Author's Note:**

> Good LORD it's been a long time since I posted! I'm not dead I promise, just busy with life and college... The usual. 
> 
> Any phrases in BOLD are Ryan signing, just to make everything clearer for people so y'all don't think he's actually talking. There is sexual content, but it's toward the end of the fic!
> 
> This lovely piece was written along with a companion piece by Misterkitteh!! Where I wrote Ryan's perspective she wrote the rest of the crews! Go check hers out for another perspective on everything! This was so much fun to write with her and she's got such a good handle on the feeling from the crew!
> 
> As always, love the fic? Hate it? Found a grammatical/spelling error? Tell me at purplesauris.tumblr.com or right below in the comments!!

It was no secret that people had soulmates. The tattoos that showed up at random times in life proved that, and Ryan was no different. He got his first tattoo when he was 4, and it was something, to say the least. Ryan didn’t know what any of the words meant at first until his parents made him wear a bandage around his forearm at all times. “Who’s this creepy fuckin’ cunt?” was apparently not something other four year olds should read and talk about, so Ryan spent 9 years covering his forearm.

His second tattoo showed up at 9, when his parents were gone with the wind and he was living on the street. “Ever wanna work for a thug daddy like me, big boy?” Was seared in sloppy black print on his right hipbone, and Ryan didn’t even want to think about what the tattoo could mean. He didn’t have to go out of his way to cover up that one, and he tried not to look at it. Being 9 and living on the streets wasn’t easy in the least for Ryan, and worrying about a soulmate who wanted to sell him into prostitution was not one Ryan wanted to think about.

His third tattoo appeared at age 12, and by then Ryan was wondering why the fuck he had three phrases. He thought he only got first words, and it didn’t connect that he was destined to have more than one soulmate until someone pointed out that everyone usually just has one tattoo. The third tattoo was probably the worst one for him so far. He was not happy to have a fucking tramp stamp, let alone one that led to him figuring out his damn sexuality. “Would you rather suck a dick or take it up the arse, Vagabond?” was stamped in a flowing, beautiful script right above his ass, and resulted in awkward ass pics taken so Ryan could actually read the damn thing. For a few years Ryan wore nothing but high waisted pants until the fad went out of fashion and Ryan was left looking like a weirdo. One thing that tattoo did give him though, was a name.

His fourth tattoo, and by now Ryan was used to the searing pain of the words appearing, happened when he was 15. This one was mercifully ordinary, and Ryan hardly noticed the pain when it appeared on his left pectoral. “They never have any good tomatoes, do they?” Ryan wasn’t sure when he was going to go shopping for tomatoes, but he was grateful for something ordinary in his shitshow of a life. Four tattoos, three different scars from gang initiations, and Ryan had had enough with body changes.

At 18 Ryan thought he was done. Everyone had said by 18 the tattoo would have been there for sure, and as Ryan was kicked out of the foster system and out on his own, he adopted the mercenary mantle. He’d been shooting since he was 12, killing since 16, and Ryan had no problem doing it anymore. He was a stocky, awkward teenager, and that image served him well in infiltrating and getting to his targets.

By 21 he had taken up the Vagabond namesake and had hidden his face behind facepaint, blue eyes cold and ever moving. Ryan had no time to let his guard down, and even when pain so familiar it seemed to hurt more seared across his ribs on the right side of his body, Ryan never flinched. It took Ryan an hour to get home after the mission went to shit, and another hour to contemplate the fastest way to kill himself at the newest ridiculous phrase engraved onto his body. “It’s Timmy Tim, bitch! Wait, fuck-” Why was he the one getting stuck with such weird people as soulmates? Why couldn’t he have five normal people, like the one asking about tomatoes?

Ryan didn’t have time to think about the tattoos much anymore, though, too busy keeping himself alive and keeping his ever-growing reputation up. When facepaint proved too messy and unreliable, Ryan had gone shopping, and upon finding a black skull mask, Ryan had fallen in love. The mask was worn at all times on top of new and improved face paint, and with the new look came new clients, and new fame.

Ryan needed time in between jobs. It was a lot to travel across country all the time, and Ryan was sick of it. He was getting older, and he wanted to stay in one place. Settling down was out of the question of course, but Ryan had decided on Los Santos as a good place to set up a base camp. The city was rampant with crime, and his lifestyle would fit in nicely in a city torn apart by at least six different gangs vying for control.

It was easy enough for Ryan to settle into an easy life of civilian during the day, and ruthless criminal at night. The mask and face paint gave him a second identity, and Ryan wasn’t afraid to walk around in daylight with no mask on. Going to the store to get groceries was something Ryan had to do far more often than he would like. It was only him living in his apartment and somehow he managed to go through food like a monster. Ryan is in the vegetable aisle when he sees a kid riding on a cart, careening down the aisles and making a mess of displays. Ryan can’t help the snort when he sees who he assumes is the child’s mother running after him, and Ryan has a sudden brilliant idea. It’s too easy to stick his foot just in the way of running feet, and Ryan watches in glorious satisfaction as an entire section of roma tomatoes is taken out, juice and seeds flying everywhere as the boy looks around in confusion, covered in tomato.

Ryan is about to leave when a bearded man steps just in front of him, laughing and shaking his head as he finds one of the last remaining undamaged tomatoes. “They never have any good tomatoes, do they?” the man jokes, Ryan snorting again and shrugging. The man chuckles again at the mom trying to help her son get out of the pile of smashed tomatoes, and then heads off toward the bell peppers. Ryan goes to buy himself some more frozen waffles and diet coke to tide himself over for a while, and it isn’t until he’s in bed that night thinking of his prank when he realizes what he heard. He glances down at the tattoo on his chest, reading the words and hearing them echoed in a deep, rich voice. He’d met one of his soulmates, and he hadn’t even realized it.

Ryan, safe to say, beats himself up over it for a good week. The one normal phrase on him was already said and Ryan had lost his opportunity to actually properly meet him. He could probably have found the man he was looking for easy enough with his connections, but with no name and just a face to go off of, he had basically nothing. He chalked it up as a loss and went back to the grocery store every week, visiting the produce section every time, hoping he would find the man there looking at tomatoes. Safe to say, Ryan’s kitchen was fully stocked for two months before he gave up, and he went back to scraping by with whatever he had picked up at the time.

Ryan didn’t work in between jobs, but he didn’t need to. Jobs came to him so often that he was booked for months at a time, and his jobs took him to bars often. He didn’t drink, hadn’t since he’d had to kill a man who drunkenly tried to kidnap him, but Ryan is comfortable in the setting. Sitting at the bar, waiting for the client and the money to show up was easy, and ordering a rum and coke with no rum made the bartender laugh each time.

Ryan is waiting for a client to show up when a man slides onto the barstool next to him, obviously drunk but under better control than most sloshed people Ryan has met before. Ryan’s bendy straw keeps him from having to take off his mask, and he’s able to look at the man without suspicion. He finds the man staring back every time that he looks, and he grows irritated by the attention quickly. Usually the skull mask took care of anyone trying to size him up, but the man just looks at him like he’s an idea. A potential that Ryan doesn’t want to think about. Ryan is bracing himself for a drunken onslaught when his client appears, Ryan doing the trade and sending the shaken man on his way. Ryan tucks away three wads of cash and pulls out a twenty to cover his bar tab, about ready to leave.

A tap on his shoulder stops him in his tracks, and he glances down at a tattooed hand resting on his upper arm before looking back up at the inebriated man. Eleven words come out of the man’s mouth that make Ryan see red. “Ever wanna work for a thug daddy like me, big boy?” Ryan doesn’t hesitate in slamming the man against the bar by his throat, fingers digging in, and two more infuriating words are choked out. “Woah, kinky.”

Ryan practically snarls as he shoves the man down the length of the bar and watches as he topples over, drink spilled on his suit and confusion in his eyes. Ryan leaves without a word to the man, fuming and needing something to stab. Another target down that night cools his anger, and he shoves his hands in his pockets as he hurries from the scene, breath coming fast and adrenaline pushing him to walk faster. A business card in his pocket stops him cold though, and he takes it out, staring at the gold inking. Geoff Ramsey. He knows that name, and knows what the man could possibly want. The image of the drunk he chokeslammed comes to mind, and Ryan almost laughs. The drunk at the bar was Geoff Ramsey, famous mob boss.

Ryan is dressing a wound on his stomach two weeks later when he sees the words burned on his hipbone, and Ryan kicks a hole in his bathroom wall, deposit be damned. Another soulmate found, another soulmate missed. At least Ryan knows who it is this time, though he’s none too happy. He’s relieved he’s not going to be sold into prostitution, but it doesn't make him feel any happier to have Geoff fucking Ramsey asking him drunkenly to work for him.

It takes two more weeks after the revelation of Ryan having missed his second soulmate to call Geoff back, and when he does, it’s at 7 in the morning. The first call rings and rings till Geoff’s voicemail picks up, and Ryan uses morse code to tell Geoff that he wants a meeting with the crew before he decides to work with them all.

With that call over, Ryan goes out of town to follow a lead on a drug ring gone into child slavery, and Ryan is knee deep in body parts when Ramsey decides to get back to him. Ryan accepts the call but finishes the job before he actually listens to what Geoff is saying. “Hey, okay so that was fucking gross to listen to, but my crew has agreed that they all want to meet you first. I’m assuming you know where we live, seeing as you’re the Vagabond and it would be weirder for you not to know than for you to know. Swing by tomorrow, if you can. We can ta-” Ryan hangs up the phone once he’s given a when, and he calls in a cleanup crew so that he doesn’t have to stay here any longer than he needs to. He sends a calling card to the mob boss running the ring, and that’s one more gang that moves out of Los Santos.

Ryan wouldn’t say that he’s anxious, but he has to admit to himself that he’s a bit nervous. He knows one of his soulmates is going to be in that room, but he’s certain that Geoff won’t know. Ryan has never said a word in his life, so there will be no tattoo by which Geoff will be able to tell. He tries not to think about it as he rides the elevator up to the penthouse, the fact that Geoff of all people is one of his soulmates. By the time the elevator doors open he’s banished the thought from his mind, and his demeanor is cool.

Geoff is there to greet him at the elevator, sober but still disheveled, like it’s a lifestyle choice rather than a mess. Ryan nods to him, and Geoff reaches out to shake his hand. Ryan lets his grip be on the edge of too tight, giving Geoff a reminder of what he did and would do if needed. Geoff clears his throat once their hands drop again, and he motions toward the interior of the apartment. “Uh, go ahead and take a seat wherever you’d like. Do you want like, a drink of something?”

Ryan, of course, says nothing, and goes to claim the one armchair in the room. His stance isn’t hostile as he sits, but it isn’t open either. He doesn’t really care to have anyone questioning him just yet. Ryan looks around and finds a man with curly hair sneering at him, Ryan tilting his head just a little too much to seem natural. The other man has a rather impressive beard going on, and Ryan recognizes him immediately; his second soulmate. Ryan’s fingers twitch minutely. Not enough for anyone to catch.

“So, depending on how you wanna talk, both Jack and I know morse code, and Jack knows ASL. Oh, shit. This is Jack and Michael.” Geoff introduces them and then goes to sit down with Jack, preferring to let Jack be the more amicable one.

Ryan now has a name to go with a face, and he’s two soulmates down. He once heard that the tattoo was supposed to change color once you met them, but he didn’t actually see his tattoos change color. They were still a dark, inky black, even though he’d met two of his soulmates already.

The next words out of Michael’s mouth are what almost breaks him. “Who’s this creepy fuckin’ cunt?” Ryan’s hands immediately curl into fists, and it takes him a minutes to finally relax. Jack looks at Michael in disapproval, Michael sneering again. “Seriously, who is he? I know he’s the Vagabond or whatever, but that doesn’t fucking say who he is. If he’s going to be working with us we have to know something about him.”

“It’s not your place to ask that yet, Mikey. He just got here.” Michael huffs a large breath, crossing his arms. Jack rolls his eyes and promptly ignores Michael’s pouting, turning to Ryan and giving him a cheerful yet guarded look. Ryan inclines his head to show he’s listening, and Jack continues on. “So, we all know the reputation you have, but we want to see it. Well, I don’t particularly care, I know you’ll be able to work with Geoff and I.”

Ryan taps on the arm of the chair to reply, and though it takes Jack and Geoff a moment of conferring with each other to know what he says. Geoff is the one that replies this time, and Ryan watches him closely. “We’re more seasoned than our boys are, and they’re rowdy fucks anyhow, so we need to see that you can run and keep up with them before we’re going to greenlight you.”

Ryan snorts and taps out a joke about gaslighting him instead, but Geoff doesn’t answer. Jack does laugh though, and Michael is looking at the three of them like they’re insane.

“So, are we going to do this or what?” Michael interrupts, three of the older men looking at him. Ryan waves his hand, motioning for them to continue, and Jack sighs.

“Just don’t try to get him killed first thing, okay? Especially not with Gav with you guys.” Jack is talking to Michael now, giving him an exasperated look that Michael knows well. Michael rolls his eyes in response, which Jack doesn’t seem phased by in the least. He knows that they do generally destructive shit, and hopefully that will be toned down enough for Ryan to survive.

Jack and Geoff can’t say much else before Michael is hopping up and grabbing a set of car keys from the table, Ryan standing and following a beat behind. It leaves just enough room where they’re not stepping on each other, but doesn’t allow Michael to ignore him. Ryan doesn’t seem phased when Michael speeds up, Ryan’s longer legs matching easily. Michael may or may not swing his arm a little bit to rest his keys on his shoulder, effectively hitting Ryan in the mask, but Ryan just yanks the keys out of Michael’s hand like a scolding parent.

The elevator ride down to the garage is tense, to be frank, and Ryan hits the panic button so he knows which car they’re taking before he gets into the passenger seat, giving Michael back the keys. Ryan buckles up, something that Michael scoffs at, and Ryan looks in the back to see if they’ve got any heavier guns. He always has his pistol on him of course, but a shotgun does a lot better for anything else they might be doing.

Instead, he sees a man with sandy hair recovering from a heart attack from the car alarm, Ryan snorting. The drive into town is pretty much silent for the most part, Michael brooding over the fact that Ryan took his keys from him, and Gavin just along for the ride. It isn’t until Michael says that they’re twenty minutes out that Gavin finally talks, Ryan turning toward the brit.

“Would you rather suck a dick or take it up the arse, Vagabond?” Is the first thing out of Gavin’s mouth, the wheel jerking as Michael hears Ryan’s knee smash into the glovebox. A moment later Ryan is whipping his head around, and Gavin freezes, staring at Ryan as Ryan stares at him.

Ryan can feel his lower back itching, and he stares at Gavin a moment longer before he turns around again. Gavin whines when he gets no answer, and he complains to Michael, shaking his shoulder as he tries to drive, excuse you. “Gav, he doesn’t fucking talk. Unless you know fucking morse code you aren’t going to get shit from him.”

“But Michael, I wanna know now.” Ryan, though, is ignoring the other two completely, and Gavin will get no answer to that question. Michael and Gavin bicker for a while, but it ends when Gavin harrumphs and lays himself down in the backseat, pressing his face into the leather seat. Michael mumbles something about Gavin’s nose leaving a dent in the seat which makes the bickering come back with a passion.

Ryan looks like his soul has ascended from his body, though the other two obviously can’t tell, Ryan trying his best to block out their arguing. When they don’t stop Ryan reaches over and wails on the horn, only letting up when they both shut the fuck up. The rest of the car ride goes by in relative silence, Ryan looking back at Gavin through the side mirror on occasion. This man, another one of his soulmates. He knows now why he has such weird fucking phrases on him. He’s paired to fucking idiots.

The rest of the ride goes by quickly, and Ryan slides out of the car, ready to get this show on the road. Michael and Gavin go to the trunk while Ryan starts off to survey, only pausing when he sees that they’re unloading guns. Ryan takes a couple steps back toward the two lads and Gavin grins cheekily. “Couldn’t resist a good cockin’ huh Vagabond?” Michael groans and Ryan signs something, Gavin squawking indignantly. “That isn’t nice at all Vagabond, don’t you know proper manners?”

Ryan looks confused, and he stares at Gavin for a moment, Michael facepalming. “Do you even know what he said dipshit?”

Gavin turns his indignant gaze onto Michael now, huffing and giving Ryan a shotgun before he argues. “You know my buddy Dan right? He has a cousin that was deaf and he was the greatest bloke I knew, so I learned how to do those hand words.”

“Do you mean sign language?” Michael looks absolutely done with Gavin’s odd wording, but Gavin just nods and continues on.

“Yeah yeah, you know what I mean boi! Obviously our new friend here knows it.”

Ryan is standing there, shotgun in hand and blinking in shock. It was a surprise that Geoff and Jack knew, but Gavin? He never would have thought the brit would learn anything. That thought’s maybe a bit mean to think, but Ryan doesn’t really know him. He starts signing, and Gavin sees the motion out of the corner of his eye, Gavin looking and watching.

“ **Why do you still remember it?** ” Gavin shrugs, signing back, albeit a bit sloppier than Ryan’s precise movements.

“It’s useful for when comms are down or being monitored.” Gavin’s eyebrows raise all of a sudden and he reaches up to touch an earpiece that Ryan didn’t notice before.

“Hey Tim, you all cozy?” Ryan can hear the crackle of the mic and then a muffled response, Gavin nodding even though no one else can hear what is being said. After a pregnant pause, Michael slams the trunk shut and cocks his gun, Ryan tensing up. Ready to go and wanting to get this over with. Gavin grins when he gets an affirmative, and he coos into the comm. “Awwww, don’t you worry your little bum, Vagabond won’t hurt me! Okay, well he could, but no worries!”

Ryan snorts at Gavin saying that he won’t hurt him, Ryan turning away. He doesn’t know any of these people, but something in him won’t let him do them harm. Granted, he did chokeslam Geoff, but that was completely deserved. He could never be cruel to them just to be cruel, whether he wanted to or not. Michael rolls his eyes and nudges Gavin, crowding closer to Ryan who subsequently has to force himself not to take a step back. He happens to have a large bubble, and he doesn’t like it invaded.

“Okay, so we’re going to go and rob the gas station. Gavin and I, we’re going to go and scream at the guy. Vagabond, do you think you can handle any cops? Tim will be up in the sky if you need him.”

Ryan snorts, giving Michael a look that makes Michael’s shoulders tighten in nerves. It’s hardly noticeable, but if there’s one thing Ryan is good at, it’s reading body language. It also gives him a chance to look for any weaknesses, but that’s something he won’t mention to the others. Michael starts talking with Gavin about how they’re going to go in and how Gavin isn’t going to start touching shit and fuck things up, Ryan quietly slipping the keys out of Michael’s pocket and into his own, Ryan signing to Gavin to ask him to get a bottle of diet coke. Gavin looks conflicted because Michael just told him not to touch shit, but he also doesn’t want Ryan coming in guns blazing just to get a pop.

Eventually Gavin agrees to get him what he asks for by returning with a sign Ryan has never seen before. Ryan climbs up onto the roof of the car, sitting down with his legs dangling and staring out at the street. The shotgun held loosely in his hands keeps anyone from questioning him, and the glass shattering and screaming from the gas station causes everyone else to run away. It’s not as if any of the people who live in fear in Los Santos will actually do anything. Gas stations are a dangerous business to run, and though many go out of business, new ones always pop up.

Ryan sits there admiring the shotgun he was given, the way it looks meticulously cleaned and the way that the barrel gleams dully in the light. Obviously they either care for their guns or has someone who is caring for them outside of their work. Ryan whistles merrily from behind the mask as there are shots fired and the faint sound of a cooler door opening. Ryan laughs silently, and he catches the pop that is wildly thrown to him. Gavin comes charging out with a duffle bag of money and dives into the back seat, Michael coming after him swearing up a storm about not touching shit as sirens wail faintly.

Ryan ignores their bickering and slides into the driver’s seat, the car roaring to life and Michael getting into the passenger seat. “How the fuck did you get my keys? You know what, never-fucking-mind I don’t even want to know. Tim is coming down right now, once we grab him we can take off.”

Ryan nods, buckling himself up and looking back to see if the two lads are as well. Just like earlier they ignore their seat belts, and Ryan snickers to himself, revving the engine a couple times. Gavin squeals as there’s a thump on the roof of the car, and Ryan barely has time to glance at garishly mismatched hair as a cowboy hat falls into the back seat somewhere, a new voice added to the fray of yelling lads.

“It’s Timmy Tim, bitch! Wait-fuck-” The newest arrival sputters over his mistake but Ryan can’t think about those fucking words right now, foot jamming the gas pedal to the floor and taking off with a lad still half in-half out of the sunroof. Gavin scrambles to pull the man inside, and they collapse in a pile on the backseat, Ryan speeding away from the gas station. Michael is swearing at the top of his lungs, holding onto the dashboard for dear life as Ryan careens around turns that should have made the car topple over only to manage to put the tires back on the ground.

It takes them a record time to get back to the penthouse, and Ryan leaves the car in the same parking spot it was in earlier, tires smoking and all three lads trying not to die of a heart attack. Ryan cracks open his diet coke, realizes he doesn’t have a straw to drink it with, and twists the cap back onto his pop, shoulders drooping in dejection. Ryan turns around just in time to see the boys spilling out of the car, Michael stumbling around blindly and knocking into the car next to them. Gavin falls out of the backseat unceremoniously, groaning and rolling around on the cement floor.

Ryan watches in glorious satisfaction as the newest member falls out of the car on top of Gavin, Ryan taking a step back as foam explodes out of every one of Gavin’s pockets. The Lads shriek as they’re covered in diet coke, Ryan’s shoulders shaking with laughter. Gavin looks around in horror, and he pats himself, taking out a bunch of exploded pop cans and tossing them on the ground. “That’s what you fucking get for taking those from the gas station!” Michael yells, diet coke dripping from his hair as he peeks around the open back door.

“B-but Michael he asked and I wanted to get some for later too and- aHA! Here!” Gavin holds up a can that’s miraculously survived, and he tosses it to Ryan. Ryan looks at it, shrugs, and stabs the side with a knife, pop spraying everywhere. It soaks Ryan’s clothes and his mask, and he holds the knife loosely in hand, almost as if he hadn’t meant to do that.

Gavin gapes at him for a moment before crowing with laughter, rolling around on the ground more and laughing until they’re just squeaks of breath that he’s trying to get in. Ryan goes to get something from his car while the two try to untangle their pile of limbs, Ryan waiting by the elevator. Eventually the two on the ground get up and all four of them head up into the penthouse. Geoff takes one look at them and the congratulations on his lips promptly dies, Geoff sighing heavily.

“What did you do? Jeremy, please tell me you didn’t do this.” He looks absolutely exhausted, like the world is crushing him, Jack’s laughter in the background not helping at all. Jeremy gasps in outrage and shakes his head, denying any involvement before Michael begins to explain.

“We- we got the money but- Gavin had fucking cans of pop in his pockets and they exploded, and he gave one to the Vagabond and he just-” Michael is laughing too hard to properly explain, and Gavin is going to be no help at all, still cackling as he goes off to get changed. “He fucking stabbed the can and now he’s covered too!” Michael manages to finish his explanation, and Geoff sighs heavily.

“Well, I guess you proved that you can run with the Lads at least. You can shower if you want, but uh, you don’t happen to have a spare set of clothes in that bag do ya?”

When Ryan shakes his head Geoff looks to the heavens to give him strength, Jack chuckling. “I’ll go get him something to wear. The bathroom is down the hall, second on the right.”

Ryan nods and without a word heads to the bathroom, taking the clean clothes he’s given and stripping off his now ruined jeans and shirt. He leaves them in a heap on the ground for now, turning the shower on to warm while he washes his face paint off. He pauses when he sees the quote on his chest, and he slowly looks himself over. Five phrases on him. Five soulmates. All of them here, under the same roof. Ryan can’t believe his luck to get stuck with all of these people, and his eyes wander over words. Michael, Geoff, Gavin, Jack and now the man Geoff called Jeremy. He has names and faces for them all, but they don’t know a thing. The only benefit to being mute is knowing that his soulmates don’t truly know who or what he is to them until he wants to reveal it.

He momentarily panics when he ses that the shirt Jack got him is a t-shirt, but upon looking through his bag he finds concealer. Just enough to cover his arm, but it’s all he needs. Ryan wastes no more time in getting in the shower, wanting to get as clean as possible. He can’t believe he stabbed the can, but he wanted to shotgun it and had forgotten that 1. It was pressurized 2. It was vigorously fallen on and 3. Ryan still had his fucking mask on. Ryan washes through his hair and lets it sit for a minute while he washes his body. He showers as quick as he possibly can, but it’s the makeup that takes longest. He’s careful when applying his face makeup, and extra careful while covering up the words on his arm. He’s not ready for them to see anything, especially not so soon, and by the time he’s got his mask washed and hair dried and everything secure, Geoff has sent the cavalry to make sure Ryan hasn’t perished in the shower.

By the third knock on the door Ryan opens it, staring at Jack and holding out his soaked clothes. Jack takes them to get them washed before they’re fully ruined, and Ryan wanders barefoot around the apartment. Its shocking to see the Vagabond in a t-shirt and sweatpants, but if Ryan notices Gavin and Jeremy staring at his biceps, he doesn’t say anything. Ryan is more than happy to sit in the living room and stare off into space, but then he's being offered food and a separate room to eat it in. It's oddly considerate, and Ryan tilts his head, staring at the Lads all holding hands.

Ryan pauses for a moment, thinking it over, then shrugs. It's all too easy to sign that he's ravenous, and he would very much like some food. He also asks if they have a straw though, seeing as somehow the bottle of pop survived and Ryan currently somehow has it in his hands. He would very much like a drink.

Gavin is all too eager to sign to him, and the change of pace from everyone just talking to him without bothering to try and do anything his way is refreshing. He’s grateful for the straw and he pops that bad boy in the bottle as soon as he can, taking a sip and nodding in satisfaction. Ryan thinks over what he’d like, and he sets his bottle down, getting up. He goes to scour the kitchen and pulls out a bunch of stuff, asking Gavin if he can make his own food while Gavin supervises.

Upon getting the green light to do as he pleases, Ryan whips up a fantastic meal, enough for the entire crew to have, actually. It looks absolutely wonderful, and Ryan starts serving up plates. Is it weird for someone they don’t know to do a heist with them and then make them dinner? It’s probably weird, but he’s made something distinctly italian, and who can say no to pasta?

Michael looks perplexed by what is going on, but Jeremy is just happy to get his chow on and he goes and sets the table, calling Geoff and Jack for dinner. Geoff is the resident cook, normally, and upon seeing that the food looks and smells edible as opposed to something Gavin attempted, he looks at Jack in confusion. Jack shrugs, not having done anything, and Ryan walks out in Geoff’s ‘kiss the cook’ apron, holding a plate of garlic bread. Jeremy groans, thinking of all of the weight he’s going to gain eating literally all this food, and Gavin is in absolute shock. He seems more than happy that Ryan is trying to actually do something semi-normal as opposed to disappearing with the wind, and then he remembers that Ryan is supposed to move in with them. That’s kind of part of being a crew.

It would seem Ryan is unaware though, because he hasn’t brought anything with him, and Geoff hasn’t said anything either. Geoff is ready to bring him in, heaven knows he needs the help, but he hesitates because of Michael’s uncertainty. A big heist, Michael says, is what they need to truly see if Ryan is up to snuff in ability to run with the ever changing crew. Michael is absolutely willing to eat the food that Ryan cooks though, loving pasta and wanting as much as he can possibly have. They all settle down at the table eventually, with Ryan taking the last open seat and sitting there, mask on and apron tied around his waist.

Geoff gives Ryan a look, and it isn’t until Ryan moves to grab some garlic bread that everyone else does. They all dig into the previously served pasta, and only Jeremy watches as Ryan swirls a bite of pasta onto his fork and subsequently smears alfredo sauce all over his mask. Ryan doesn’t miss a beat though, just follows it up with garlic bread as well. Jeremy can see the panic in Ryan’s eyes at having done that, but Ryan cleans the alfredo sauce off quickly. A glance around the room and Jeremy is the sole witness, Ryan giving Jeremy a look because no one will believe that he just did that.

The second attempt at a bite is more successful, Ryan lifting up the mask, and even that peek of his mouth has Gavin gawking. Can someone have a good-looking mouth? He turns to Michael and whispers something about dick sucking lips, but Michael isn’t having it and he whaps Gavin on the thigh. Gavin whines Michael’s name, saying he was only kidding, and Michael shoves a piece of garlic bread into Gavin’s mouth in retort. Gavin doesn’t say anything else about Ryan’s lips, shoving more noodles in his mouth. Jeremy is trying to chow down on his entire plate of noodles all at once it would seem, and Gavin makes an odd face at him but doesn’t say a word. It’s not unusual to see Jeremy trying to inhale his food.

Ryan of course, eats the neatest, and by the time the others have stuffed themselves full enough to never want to eat again, Ryan is already doing the dishes. Geoff looks at Jack in disbelief, and he cannot believe that Ryan is acting like he lives here already. Geoff gets up mechanically, looking up to the heavens for even more strength, and then goes to help the fucking Vagabond wash dishes. This is his life now. They wash the dishes in amicable yet tense silence, and Ryan hangs Geoff’s apron up where he found it, turning to his potential employer and nodding at him.

Geoff is going to lose his fucking mind, and Ryan is having too much fun making them react this way to be annoyed in any way. He loves shitting on other people’s impression of him, or doing something so ludicrous that no one will ever believe the infamous Vagabond ever did that. He asks if his clothes are done so he can leave, and Geoff clears his throat awkwardly.

“You can uh, stay the night if you want. The couch is comfy and I’ll get you some blankets?” Great, it’s a fucking sleepover now, because Gavin pokes his head in and says that he loves sleepovers. Michael swears under his breath at Gavin, but hell if he’s going to let Gavin camp out in the living room alone with the Vagabond. He’d end up getting killed for sure. Ryan looks at Geoff, then Gavin, then Geoff again before shrugging.

He doesn’t say anything in agreement, just walks over to one of the couches he deems comfiest and lays down. Geoff facepalms, rubbing his hand over his eyes and going to get a blanket for their guest. Ryan takes the blanket and pillow given to him and makes himself comfy while the Lads build a fort to sleep in for the night. They’ve dragged one of the spare mattresses out into the living room and have collected every pillow they can find, the three of them swamped in fluffy comfort. Geoff turns the light off without warning anyone and just- just goes to bed, praying that this isn’t his life forever. Jack can’t do much to console him.

It takes twenty minutes on the dot for Ryan to fall asleep, and another twenty for the wheezing to start. When Gavin sits up, worried for their potential friend, he sees Ryan sprawled out on the couch, blanket haphazardly thrown over him and mask shoved into the couch cushion. That’s not the only thing making him wheeze though, and Gavin can’t believe that Ryan is cuddling a pillow. A pillow, of all things.

He only looks at Ryan for another minute or so before laying back down and falling asleep, doing his best to block out the noise of Ryan trying to breathe.

____________

It’s a largely uneventful night, and by the time everyone is up and awake for the morning the Vagabond is up and ready for the day, sipping at his coffee through a straw and back in his clothes from yesterday.

Geoff doesn't even care who made the coffee when he comes out to see only Ryan awake, just goes and grabs a cup. He sits on the other end of the couch and groans, taking a swig of hot coffee and leaning his head back. Ryan doesn’t look up from the newspaper he’s reading until Geoff talks.

“Is that my newspaper? How did you get into my mailbox?” Ryan turns his head, gives one look, and Geoff groans again, letting his head thump back against the back of the couch. “Why do I even ask, you probably have a set of keys for the place already.”

Ryan snickers at that, but it’s partly true. He doesn’t have a set of his own, he has Geoff’s and a lock pick for if he’s too impatient to sort through all the keys. Geoff left the keys on the counter and it was all too easy for Ryan to go and get the newspaper. He has to keep up on the latest news so that he’s not walking into anything that he shouldn’t. Ryan completely ignores the sports section, not needing any of that, and sees that there are three different openings within the LSPD. That makes him laugh, though it’s just a silent movement of his shoulders, Ryan knowing exactly what three positions are open. He doesn’t enjoy killing, well, okay, he does enjoy it, but only those who deserve it. He doesn’t kill innocents like children. He has a reason to everything he does.

Ryan finishes the paper pretty soon, and it’s not hard for him to pass the paper onto Geoff so that he can read it too. Ryan keeps the comics though, and Geoff complains loudly, saying that he wanted to read those. Ryan just gives him a look before going back to reading, finishing the comics without much more complaining. By the time Geoff gets the comics the Lads are up and about, pestering Geoff for breakfast and crowding the couch. Geoff looks to Jack for help but he’s nowhere to be found, and Ryan has conveniently disappeared as well. There’s the sound of a car peeling out down the street and really? Geoff cannot believe Ryan just left.

He’s committed to his fate of being smothered by his hungry boys when all of a sudden there’s the smell of eggs and bacon being cooked. Ryan is in the kitchen yet again, wearing Geoff’s apron and holy fuck, if he keeps this up Geoff is going to hire him to be a maid if nothing else. Ryan cooks them all breakfast, and by then Geoff is more awake and ready to deal with everyone. He brings them all into the meeting room, Ryan included, and explains the next big heist. He wants Ryan in on this, and Ryan doesn’t object when Geoff fits him into the plan as more muscle for warding off the cops. Fighting cops seems to be Ryan’s specialty.

Michael is inside the bank with Geoff, subduing hostages while Geoff bags money with Gavin. Jack is in charge of setting up escape vehicles before joining Geoff at the bank so Michael can head out to help Ryan. Jeremy is on a building closeby, giving cover fire for if Ryan gets too overwhelmed. They’ve chosen one of the busiest days of the week to try and make it harder for the cops to respond in time, and everyone looks ready for another heist. Their last big heist was months ago, and they’ve been itching for some carnage so that they don’t have to sit around all the time.

Ryan doesn’t seem to be paying attention at all while they’re going over the plan, but whenever Geoff looks up to make sure he’s getting it, Ryan is staring right at him. It's entirely unnerving, and Geoff kind of wishes Ryan wasn't actually paying attention.

Geoff stops looking up, but he can feel eyes on him the entire rest of the time, and once they’re done Ryan steps up. He looks at Gavin to translate, and everyone watches in bewildered amazement as Ryan goes over a detailed plan that he has to maximize their profit. He tells them they all need a bag. Four of them will actually have money in them, and the other two won’t. The two that have the decoy bags will actually have the biggest bags, and the cops he says, always go after the biggest bag. Everyone else will have backpacks full of money, and will break off into two groups to escape. Ryan will have one of the bags, and will go off on a motorcycle, and someone else may choose to have the second bag. Michael volunteers for it, and Ryan nods. He knows Michael to be able to lead a wild goose chase.

Geoff is astounded by the soundness of the plan, but he does have a few questions. “What will the two decoys do once the two money teams are away and safe?”

Ryan doesn't hesitate to answer, having thought about this as well. Gavin is the one speaking, but he's watching Ryan's hands. “The decoys will lead the police away long enough for the money teams to be safe, and then they’ll meet up and change vehicles. From there, the two will break off again and go to their own safe houses.”

Geoff's brow furrows, and he looks at Ryan. “You aren't going to our safe house?”

Ryan shrugs, shaking his head. Gavin doesn't seem to like the idea, but still translates. “He says there's no need. He’ll get his pay once we’re all back at base.”

Geoff would argue, but if Ryan wants his space then he can have it. Ryan answers a couple smaller questions, and Gavin and Michael get into a debate about what to do with comms. Obviously Gavin can't translate for Ryan, and Michael doesn't know ASL, so he won't be able to tell what Ryan is saying. Ryan shuts the bickering down by saying he carries a notebook with him, and he’ll write if need be. While they're actually doing the heist Ryan will basically have to be radio silent, and there's nothing they can do to really change that. Ryan doesn't seem worried at all, and he knows that he can always use Morse code to talk to Geoff and Jack in an emergency.

Geoff and Jack look at each other for a moment, wanting to make sure that they’re in agreement before they look to Ryan and nod. Ryan nods right back, and bows his head a little bit in thanks to Gavin for talking for him. It’s weird for Gavin to be the voice of Ryan, but he’s the most eager, and he starts talking before anyone else gets a chance. Though, that’s not much different than Gavin normally. Ryan doesn’t seem to mind the british lad all that much, despite being asked a stupid question right out of the gate.

Everyone seems to disperse as Gavin starts chattering to Ryan, Michael lingering and then leaving to go get more coffee. It’s amazing that Michael seems to trust Ryan even the slightest bit with Gavin, knowing what shit he can get into, but Ryan hasn’t raised a hand to any of them yet.

“So, how did you come up with that plan? It takes bloody months for us to even think about starting to come up with a new heist!”

Ryan tilts his head and shrugs a little, a sign that he doesn’t really know something. He elaborates by saying that he’s robbed banks before, and the most efficient way to get money out with the least casualties is if you’re sly about it. Cops, especially cops in Los Santos, will go for the bags they think hold the most cash to be returned to the bank upon capture. They won’t even notice the backpacks that the crew could hide under their jackets, if need be. They’ll be too concerned by duffel bags.

Gavin thinks that Ryan is brilliant, but he sees just one problem. “The empty duffle bags don’t really have a shape to them though, right? You’d think that they would see through the rouse rather easily.” That makes Ryan pause, and though Gavin can’t see, he frowns. He goes over to the whiteboard and starts sketching things out, Gavin watching. Ryan turns and points to the drawing of the duffel bag and some obscure shape he’s drawn, Gavin gasping. “Foam! That’s brilliant Vagabond! You don’t want the bags to actually weigh you down while on the motorcycle, and if you just packed it with stuff it wouldn’t look right. If you take blocks of foam and cut it all screwy like, it’ll look like stacks of money!”

Ryan looks pleased that Gavin can follow along so well, and he nods his head. Ryan writes on the board that he’s going to go pick up bags for the heist, and Gavin nods. He says he’ll tell Geoff the idea, and skips out of the room, excited to be communicating with Ryan so well. That leaves Ryan to his own devices, and he heads out of the penthouse to go and secure big blocks of foam. A visit to his house gets him out of his Vagabond get-up and into civilian life once more. It’s all too easy to get a couple large duffel bags and four backpacks, the cashier completely ignorant. It’s so late in the season that school is about to start, so a man buying a bunch of backpacks isn’t suspicious at all.

Ryan goes to the craft store after that, buying a couple blocks of foam and some other miscellaneous supplies. Once he’s got everything he heads back to his apartment and spends way too long carving the blocks and fitting them into the duffel bags. He makes sure that they actually look fine and then cuts out a hollow for a pack of C-4. Once they’re sure the others are safe they’ll drop the duffels, run a safe distance and blow the bags sky high. Ryan has to admit to himself that night as he’s laying on his couch, debating whether he wants to go to sleep or not, he’s excited for this heist. He’s seen the stuff that the FAHC can do, and he wants to see just what it’s like, up close and personal.

Ryan, for the first time in a long time, is excited, and he finds it hard to fall asleep. On a whim he remembers something, digging out his phone. He knows Gavin stole it and put his number in at some point during the heist, that way they could talk more. He finds the little face image and calls Gavin, no matter how late it may be. Ryan gasps when he realizes his mask isn’t on, and he scrambles to put it on just as Gavin answers, Ryan’s movements slowing as he sits back down in front of the camera. Gavin’s hair is all over the place, and it’s obvious he’s laying in bed- or was, rather.

Gavin signs so that he stays quiet, and he looks insanely curious. “What’s up big guy?”

Ryan is shocked by the nickname already, but he can’t focus on that now. **“I forgot to listen. When’s the heist?”**

Gavin stares at Ryan like he’s got three heads and even more growing for a second before he laughs. Ryan twitches at the squeaks, but looks grateful when Gavin actually answers instead of just laughing at him. “It’s in three days. Good gracious Vagabond, you come up with an amazing plan and don’t even remember when the heist is.”

Gavin is only teasing, but Ryan’s shoulders tense up, and his demeanor seems to close off. Gavin notices, but he doesn’t know Ryan well enough to know what to say or do. **“Well, thank you. Goodnight.”**

Gavin splutters, and Ryan shuts down the call, tossing his phone somewhere. Ryan yanks his mask off, sighing heavily and running his hands over his face. A headache is brewing behind his eyes, and he tugs his hair out of it’s ponytail, the relief of tension helping somewhat. Ryan doesn’t know why he decided to call Gavin; he could have just as easily texted him and gotten a faster answer. He must be losing his mind. He tosses his mask on the coffee table, and falls asleep slumped on the couch.

___________

Ryan takes the next three days preparing, and Gavin drags him out to go shopping the morning of the heist. Shopping of all things. Actually, the whole crew ends up going, but Gavin takes him to Ponsonby’s while the others go to Sub Urban, not wanting to spend lavish amounts for an outfit that’s going to get ruined in the coming heist.

Ryan doesn’t understand why Gavin keeps shoving clothes at him, but he’s grinning like a fool and keeps saying that yes, this is definitely the one, c’mon don’t be a party pooper. Ryan swears he spends three hours trying on clothes until he’s in red jeans and some obscure band t-shirt that Ponsonby’s carries for some reason. Gavin runs over to the jackets and hunts through, holding up a black leather jacket.

Upon Ryan shaking his head Gavin pouts, coming over. “It would go perfect with this though! Pleaaaaase?” Ryan’s eyebrow twitches with the whining, and he’s been completely ignoring the terrified clerk for the entire time now. Gavin still thinks it’s a good idea to go shopping despite Ryan wearing the mask, and Ryan shakes his head again.

 **“I have my own jacket.”** Ryan signs, Gavin waving his hand.

“But that’s been worn so many times! Don’t you want a fresh look?” Ryan tilts his head when Gavin says fresh look, and Gavin blinks. “What is it big guy? Idea?”

Ryan doesn’t respond, and goes to change back into his regular jeans and t-shirt, leather jacket thrown over his arm. Gavin hurries to keep up as Ryan heads back to the car, and Ryan stops him, holding his hand out. Gavin looks shocked, and he frowns. Ryan is quick to explain, surprisingly, and Gavin watches his hands closely. **“I do have an idea. I have to do this on my own, though. Can you find a pair of cheetah print pants, a black shirt, and a jacket to match the pants? We should match.”**

Gavin gasps and hops in place when Ryan says they can match, Gavin almost in disbelief. He’s going to get to match with the Vagabond. “Of course I can! Don’t you worry one bit, I’m on the case!” With that, Gavin runs off in a flurry of limbs, heading back into Ponsonby’s to get the outfit Ryan requested.

Ryan takes off once he sees that Gavin is actually looking for cheetah print. Ryan drives across town to an obscure shop and picks up everything he needs. He picks Gavin back up within the hour, and Gavin hides his purchases just like Ryan does. They head back to the penthouse, and Ryan retreats to the bathroom to change. He dons black pants and a black long sleeve, a longer black coat lying on the counter next to him. It’s lined with plush cheetah print fur, and Ryan chose it for one purpose. It has a built in parachute, just in case. An experimental thing of course, but it’s worked for him before.

What takes the longest, is the face paint. Ryan puts in contacts; ones that make his iris’ yellow with a ring of red around them. Just looking at himself in the mirror makes him look more unnerving, the unnatural color suiting him well. Ryan paints a careful and elaborate skull on his face, painting the parts of his cheeks where the skull isn’t black. He paints all the way down his neck and sets everything to make sure the paint won’t come off and ruin his secrecy. He looks like a floating skull wearing ridiculous clothing, but he doesn’t think he’s ever looked better. More fearsome. His pitch black hair is pulled back in a bun, strands hanging out, making him look unkempt. Unhinged. Ryan straps on his bulletproof vest and then shrugs into his jacket, heading out down the hall.

Everyone is sitting there chatting, waiting for Ryan when he steps into the room, and five jaws drop, mouths gaping at the look Ryan has adopted. His eyes slide over the group, and only Michael and Gavin are brave enough to meet his eyes. Michael in fear, Gavin... in excitement. Gavin is looking sharp in a cheetah print suit, shoes shining dully and golden bowtie reflecting in the lights of the room. Gavin cheers, running over to Ryan and looking him over.

“You look absolutely top, Vagabond! Dear Christ you’re going to give everyone bloody heart attacks just from looking at them!” Ryan makes a comment about that being the point, and Gavin laughs, turning and posing next to Ryan. “Team Love n Stuff! That’s what we are. I’m the love and he’s the stuff!”

Ryan makes an offended noise, but Gavin’s enthusiasm is infectious, and Ryan has to try hard to mask the twitch of the corner of his mouth. He won’t smile in front of them. Not yet. Not when they all look terrified of him. Though… The smile might make him look even more terrifying. Ryan might try it out during the heist, but for now he just lets Gavin gush over how ‘tippy toppers’ they look. He’s figured out the sign that Gavin made for it by now, seeing as he says it obsessively, and he signs it in agreement.

The rest of the team just shake their heads, the rest of them in their usual outfits, all of them holding half masks. When Michael puts his on, it has the bottom half of a skull on it, and all the others have the same ones. Gavin says something about wanting to make Ryan feel more welcome, and Ryan blinks in astonishment. He doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t say anything, just nodding. Geoff gives them a few more pointers before they head out, and they all split up, Ryan stowing his bike and the duffel bag by the back door to the bank. Geoff will bring it inside and toss it to Ryan as they break out of the front door, making it seem like they’re trading off. Michael's bag is also there, and he spends some time just showing Michael what way he's going to take. If Michael can, they're going to meet up on the bridge heading out of town. Michael doesn't seem to have a problem with it, and once they've figured everything out Michael meets up with Geoff and Gavin.

With a few adjustments of comms and Jeremy making sure he has a good sightline, Geoff begins the heist. “Alright boys, lets do this!” With that, the three burst into the bank, guns held fearlessly as people scream in terror. Geoff is quick to get to the teller on duty, and a shot to the glass shatters it, Geoff having bought special ammunition just for bank glass. All highly illegal, mind you. He presses the warm muzzle to the teller’s head as their hand inches toward the button, and warns them not to make a mistake. Michael keeps the crowd under control as Geoff and Gavin get to the vault, security guards dispatched with ease. Ryan keeps to the shadow of the alleyway, listening for sirens and watching to cover Jack’s entrance into the building. All seems to be going well until all of a sudden cop cars come careening up the road, sirens off to take the crew by surprise. Ryan isn't shocked though, it would seem, because he just lobs a grenade into the fray of cruisers and blows three sky high.

“We got coppers! We need you out here, Mogar!” Jeremy says through the comms, Ryan doing his best to hold off the onslaught of SWAT members and cops with grenades and heavy gunfire.

“On it!” Ryan is ducked behind a car, reloading as fast as he can when the bank door bursts open, the whirring of a mini-gun winding up heard as Michael opens fire. Ryan looks at Michael in excitement and quickly joins in firing at the police, the three of them all able to stave off the police while bags of cash are quietly loaded into two separate cars. Michael empties his rounds quickly, burning through them and counting on Ryan to give him cover fire while he reloads.

Cops are swarming but Ryan just throws grenades until he has no more, dirt and stone and blood flying everywhere. Ryan's blood sings with the thrill of the explosions shaking the ground, and he almost doesn't catch the duffel bag thrown to him suddenly. That seems to create even more of a frenzy within the police ranks, and the four without duffel bags break off, slipping away as Michael and Ryan collect most of the heat. Ryan goes roaring right past the cops on his bati as Michael goes south, the cops chasing wildly after them as the four left behind split up into two teams. What few cops linger behind are taken out by Jeremy in one car, Geoff in the other, the two teams heading for the safe house. Ryan hears gunshots and swearing over the comms, and Michael swearing loudly as he speeds along.

“I'm almost to the bridge Vagabond- shit! They got my tire- fuck-” Ryan can hear the scrape of metal as Michael drives on the rim, and Ryan pushes a little faster, getting there just in time to see Michael lob his bag behind enemy lines, holding his hands up in defeat. Ryan's eyes lock with Michael's as cops swarm, and Ryan barrels through, flying from his bike and rolling to a stop at Michael's feet. He scrambles to his feet while the cops are recovering and starts urging Michael back, Ryan taking a few steps back when Michael won't comply. Michael watches in slow motion as Ryan turns, firing off only two shots before a shot is making Ryan stagger back, Michael gaping. Vagabond didn't just get shot. He didn't. Michael watches as Ryan drops, and Michael yells, charging and grabbing Ryan by the shoulders. “Fuck- fuck Vagabond is down I repeat- fuck c’mon you creepy motherfucker, I'm not getting stuck here.”

Geoff's stomach clenches, and he thinks this is it. “Mogar! Mogar get out of there if he's dead we- we have to come back for him!”

“But boss I- fuck!” There's the sound of an explosion, a scuffle and then air rushing past the comm as Michael screams. Geoff yells Michael's name, but there's the sound of fabric being released and the snap of chords, Michael wheezing and rough panting from Ryan's comm. There's thirty seconds of tense silence before there’s the sound of two bodies hitting water, the mics crackling from the current of waves washing over them.

“Michael! Michael oh Christ-!” Geoff looks to Gavin, who's also listening, eyes welled up with tears.

Radio silence. Three minutes go by. Five. Ten, and Geoff is pounding the steering wheel, debating going back right now. All of a sudden there's a gasp, a cough, and the distinct sound of a fist thumping someone's back. After that, there's an insistent tapping on the mic, and it's Jack that figures out it’s Ryan. Morse code, relaying their position and their status. Geoff feels like he could cry right now, and Ryan taps out another message. Asking if everyone is okay. They all thought they'd lost two members and Ryan is asking if they're the ones that are okay.

Geoff does shed a few tears then, shoulders sagging as he leans his forehead against the steering wheel. “Yeah, yeah we all got out fine. Do you think you can hold off there, or is medical attention needed? I can call in an extraction.”

Geoff listens anxiously, and upon hearing that they're alright, just waterlogged he relaxes, slumping some and turning to smile at Gavin. “Okay, there’ll be a couple people picking you up bring you back to the safehouse. Good?” Upon getting Ryan’s agreement, Geoff has him sign off his comm to keep everything quiet. It takes hours to actually get Ryan and Michael from the small cave they were camped out in, but when they do Ryan's jacket is gone and all their clothes are half dry. Ryan lingers on the sidewalk as Michael runs over to Geoff, Geoff spinning the lad around and kissing him fiercely. He looks him over to make sure that he's okay and then all the others are crowding in, giving Michael a big group hug. They're all so busy making sure that Michael is in one piece that they don't notice Ryan limp off, heading who knows where.

______________

It occurs to Michael later that night, as he's laying naked and sweaty and exhausted between Geoff and Jack, that the Vagabond saved his life. He hadn't told anyone details yet, knowing Geoff wouldn't want to hear it until they could all be debriefed, but the sole reason he didn't die or get captured on that bridge was because of him. Michael frowns, wondering where Ryan went, remembering that he didn't join them for their celebration or the counting of the money. After that… well, Michael had been so caught up in the rush of surviving and the rush of Geoff and Jack ravaging him that he hadn't even had time to think about it.

They don't actually see the Vagabond until he comes back to the penthouse when called, still limping but looking much better. He's wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve when he comes in, mask in place, and everyone is in shock. They'd never known the Vagabond to be so casual, but upon further observance, he's got an odd brace around his ankle preventing him from wearing regular pants.

“Wot is that?” Is all Gavin can think to say, and Ryan glances down at his leg, looking back up. Ryan explains that he might have sprained his ankle getting Michael to safety, and that the brace was to keep it from rolling. At the mention of Michael, Geoff looks at Ryan, watching him.

“I think it's time we all got debriefed.” Ryan nods and hobbles to the planning room, gratefully taking one of the stools and sitting down. Gavin sits next to him, looking concerned, and Michael plops next to Gavin. All the others stand, waiting for an explanation. Ryan won't talk of course, so Michael takes charge in explaining.

“So, we were on the bridge, and I'd tossed my duffel bag, hoping it would make them pause for a second. They were all creeping up on me, about to cuff me when Vagabond here comes crashing his bike through a bunch of cops.” Michael makes a bunch of sound effects to prove his point before continuing, everyone listening closely. “He started waving for me to move back, and he must have tossed his duffel bag too, I don't remember, but he went to start shooting, and fuck man, I thought he was dead. He dropped to the pavement like a rock. That was all the cops needed, was him out of the way, but then- holy fuck guys I've never been so close, he fucking detonates one of the duffel bags. All the cops scatter and this guy pops up, charging full tilt at me and launching us both over the side of the bridge.”

“Wait- he-” Michael raises his hand, wanting to finish his thought, and Jeremy goes quiet again.

“So I'm in freefall, thinking I'm gonna splat on the water when Vagabond is grabbing me. He zips me up in his fucking jacket with him and I'm thinking he's insane, but then he pulls a string and a fucking parachute comes out of his jacket. It slowed us enough that when we landed in the water it wasn't too bad, and he got the jacket off of us. I don't remember much after I hit the water, but Vagabond probably dragged me to shore to make sure I was still breathing. You guys know everything else, I guess. Anything to add?”

Ryan shakes his head and shrugs when everyone looks to him, Gavin translating easily. “ **That about sums it up. Once we were in the air I blew the second duffel to keep them off us.”**

The crew sits there in amazement, thinking and mulling over Michael's story. Geoff is the first one to speak, and his voice cracks with emotion. “You saved his life. I was sitting in that damn car feeling powerless, and you saved his life. You barely know us, but fuck dude, we are all in your debt. I feel like I should give you a raise and we just hired you.”

Ryan smiles behind the mask, something that makes him pause. He shrugs again and then signs something that shocks everyone. “ **You're my crew now. I wasn't going to leave him.** ”

“Thank you.” Michael says softly, Ryan looking at him for a moment before looking away and nodding. Ryan doesn't have anything else to tell them and Michael doesn't seem to either, Geoff sighing softly.

“I would tell you about our getaway, but it was pretty straightforward. Your idea with the duffel bags worked really well.” Geoff thinks he's embarrassing Ryan with the compliments, because Ryan keeps looking at the table and avoiding eye contact. He's probably not used to anything outside of a pat on the back and large sums of money, and that reminds Geoff, hands clapping together suddenly. “As part of the crew, you uh, have to live here. We have a room that's pretty far from ours so you can have privacy, but we'd like it if you'd stay here.”

Ryan stares at Geoff, eyes blank, and just when Geoff begins to squirm, Ryan makes a joke. **“You haven't even proposed yet, Geoff. How scandalous.”**

Geoff stutters, cheeks red, and he wags his finger at Ryan. “You know that's not what we mean Vagabond! Good Christ, is this how it's going to be?” Ryan laughs at Geoff's face of defeat, and he stands up.

Everyone watches him, but he doesn't move away from the table. He looks at everyone, then tilts his head in question. “ **Aren't you guys going to help me get my shit out of my car? I've been waiting for you guys to invite me in for like three days.** ”

Gavin laughs at the fact that Ryan knew already and drags the other lads out to go get what Ryan wants moved in. There's not much, mostly clothes, but it takes two trips nonetheless. Ryan spends the afternoon setting up his room while the crew does who knows what, and only comes out when there's a large commotion in the living room. Michael and Gavin are wrestling on the ground, Gavin squawking and flailing while Michael tries to pin him down, yelling about cheating at some game or something.

Ryan takes one look and shakes his head, waddling over to the two on the ground and standing over them. Michael stops almost immediately, staring at Ryan and wondering what that look is for, but Gavin keeps struggling. He manages to finally toss Michael off, but before he can jump at him Ryan places a hand on his head. It’s the first time Ryan has voluntarily touched someone outside of necessity, and Gavin goes still.

Geoff looks grateful that Ryan has stopped the fighting, and Ryan goes to throw himself on the couch. He groans when he bangs his leg, Ryan putting a pillow on the coffee table then propping his bad leg up.

Geoff takes one look and swats Ryan with the newspaper he’s reading, scowling. “No feet on the table, you animal.” Ryan motions to his hurt ankle and Geoff narrows his eyes. “What, you want special permission? What example will that set for the children?”

The Lads loudly announce that they are in fact, adults, and they complain about Geoff babying them, Geoff facepalming. Ryan gives a smug tilt of his head and keeps his foot up, leaning his head back and just relaxing. It’s been a long, long day, and Ryan could really use some time to just not think about anything. That doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon, because he feels someone sit down in front of the couch, close enough that he can feel the warmth from them. A peek shows Jeremy sitting close, but he doesn't say anything, just sits by Ryan for a while. Ryan doesn't comment on it at all, and actually ends up falling asleep, dozing on the couch for a while.

A clang in the kitchen is what wakes him up surprisingly, not the smell of food mixed with charcoal. Michael is yelling again, something about Gavin spilling something on the stove, and Ryan groans. Geoff and Jack seem to be gone, and Ryan shambles into the kitchen, seeing the mess they've made and scowling. They look like they're trying to make grilled cheese and tomato soup, but they just put the can of soup in a pot without adding anything. They all freeze when they see Ryan watching them, and Jeremy is the first to speak.

“Uh, hey buddy. Sorry if we woke you, Geoff and Jack went out on an old person date and we got hungry.”

Ryan stares long enough to make Jeremy look away, then shoos them all away from the stove. He takes over making dinner completely, not letting the others come back. He has to salvage this somehow. He restarts the tomato soup the proper way and gets to making the sandwiches. They're extra gooey and smell wonderful, and by the time the soup is done and Ryan is serving them, all the Lads are sitting at the island, stomachs growling. Ryan shakes his head at their eagerness as they dig in, but there's a strange feeling in Ryan's chest. His heart feels just a tad lighter at knowing they're taken care of, and he abruptly turns around to start washing dishes.

While he washes he reminds himself that he didn't come here and stay because they're his soulmates. He came here because it was a job, and the crew excited him. A thought he tries to push away keeps popping up though. When he thought they were going to die or be captured on the bridge, Ryan hadn't been scared. Not for himself at least. An aching terror had settled in his bones when he looked at Michael, defiant, furious, but also scared for his life. Afraid that this was his last moment. Ryan hadn't had time to think when he'd shoved Michael off the bridge and jumped. He hadn't thought when he managed to zip them together and pull the chute. He didn't think as he gave Michael mouth to mouth, thumped on Michael's back until he'd gasped in a breath and Ryan almost wept. He couldn't think about those feelings, the what-ifs and hows. All he knew is that some part of him was relieved that he'd been there to save Michael's life. The thought scares him, that he’s already getting attached, but a glance at his arm where Michael's words are hidden convinces him. He can't fight this, not when his body is screaming at him to be with these people. But he can control when and how he decides to do this. That much, he's grateful for.

Gavin startles Ryan out of his reverie by placing more dishes in the sink, bumping their hips together and grinning cheekily. “I'll dry if you wash, yeah?”

Ryan falters for just a minute, heart thundering in his chest, but he just nods his head and tears his eyes away. Gavin was the one that made him most nervous. Nervous; that was a feeling Ryan hadn't let himself feel in years, but he can't deny it. Gavin so easily slipped past his defenses. He could be a huge asshole sometimes, but Gavin was the first to truly reach out to him and give him a chance. Gavin was the one that believed in him from the start, and when he looks at Gavin as he hands him a bowl to dry, he wonders if Gavin feels it. Feels the easy, natural way they interact together, the rightness to Ryan being here. If he does Gavin certainly doesn't show it.

Ryan finishes up with the dishes pretty soon and watches where Gavin puts them away, wanting to remember for next time. After that, Gavin turns to him, grinning. “ **What**?” Ryan signs, suspicious of the face Gavin makes.

“Movie night tonight since the Gents are gone. Well, I suppose you're a Gent now too, but anywho. We're going to drag a mattress out and make a big fort. I was- well, all of us, we were wondering if you'd join us.”

Ryan raises his eyebrows even though Gavin can't see his face, and his signing comes easily. “ **You want me to watch movies with you**?”

Gavin nods. “Well yeah. You're a part of our crew now, and it's kinda like bonding, innit?”

Ryan has to concede Gavin's point. He sighs, then replies. “ **Depends on what we’re watching.** ”

Gavin's face lights up and fuck if Ryan's heart doesn't start going a mile a minute. “You know those shitty sci fi movies, like sharknado?” A cautious nod from Ryan goads Gavin on. “We’re gonna watch those and laugh at em!”

Ryan groans at the thought, but still agrees to watching with them. Gavin cheers, going to tell the other Lads. They've already got a movie booted up, and Ryan hobbles to the living room, claiming a spot on the mattress and carefully propping his leg up. He doesn't realize he's in the middle of the mattress until Lads are tucking up next to him, Jeremy and Michael snuggling together and Gavin sitting next to Ryan. They get through one movie, laughing until their stomach hurts before Ryan gets up to make popcorn. The Lads, ever hungry, power through two huge bowls of popcorn, packing it away and then seeming to settle down. Ryan starts Sharknado three and is halfway done with trying to follow the plot when a head thunks onto his shoulder. He jumps slightly and looks to see Gavin fast asleep, arm hooked around Ryan's and head resting on Ryan's shoulder. Michael and Jeremy have been asleep since the second movie, after eating the popcorn.

Ryan looks at all three of the sleeping Lads and can't help himself. It's all too easy to lay down among them, being careful of his leg and stray limbs, Ryan shutting everything down. He covers everyone in blankets and debates wearing his mask. Thinking about revealing his face makes anxiety bubble in his gut, so he elects to keep it on. He settles down on the mattress and closes his eyes, hoping for sleep.

Jack and Geoff get home around 2 that morning, and when they come in Ryan is lying on his back, Gavin snuggled tight against his side and Ryan's arm around him. Michael and Jeremy are curled up, but Michael's back presses up against Ryan's side, keeping some kind of contact. Jack awws at the sight, and before Jack can stop him Geoff snaps a picture, saving it to his phone. Jack sighs, knowing Ryan won't like that, but Geoff just heads to bed, leaving the four of them to their slumber party.

_____________

Ryan wakes up sweating. He opens his eyes and goes to sit up only to realize that Gavin is curled up against him and Michael's back is against his side. Those two alone are space heaters, and the blanket on top of all of them leaves Ryan sweltering. He doesn't know how to get out of the pile without waking everyone and he looks around, hoping to see what time it is. Luckily Geoff is still somewhat in the old age, and there’s a clock hanging on the wall.

It’s barely past 4 in the morning but Ryan is wired and awake. He shifts his body a little bit and Gavin snorts softly, crushing his nose into Ryan’s side and full on clinging to him. Ryan sighs heavily in annoyance, wanting to get up to and do something, yet he can’t bring himself to shove Gavin off of him. He does, however, start tickling him, Gavin squirming in his sleep and eventually letting go. Ryan gets up as fast as he can manage and stumbles to the bathroom, taking his mask off so his face can breathe some. His face paint is only smeared a little bit and Ryan yawns, surprising himself. He doesn’t feel tired at all, and he grunts as he stubs his toe trying to position himself by the toilet. The brace on his ankle makes him more clumsy than he’s ever been before, and it’s hard to get used to. He doesn’t have to wear it much longer, thank the lord, but it pisses him off nonetheless.

Once Ryan has gone to the bathroom and washed his hands he grabs his mask, opening the door and jumping almost a foot in the air when Jeremy is standing there waiting. He’s half asleep though, yawning and rubbing his eyes, and doesn’t notice that Ryan doesn’t have his mask on. He just nudges past Ryan with a pat to his chest and a mumbled sentence, needing to use the bathroom.

Ryan is stunned as Jeremy closes the door as soon as Ryan steps out far enough, and he realizes what Jeremy said. “Mornin’ big guy.”

Ryan stares at the door for a moment before he tucks his mask back on his face, shaking his head and going to his room. He grabs a new set of clothes and goes to get ready for the day, knowing he won’t go back to sleep again no matter how hard he tries. He hops in his own personal bathroom this time, showering and spending some time just standing under the spray of water. The warm water helps wake him up, and he spends some time blow-drying his hair so that it won’t soak the back of his shirt. He nods when it looks good enough for him, and subsequently rakes it back into a bun, keeping it out of his face as he carefully puts his face paint on. He’d chosen this face paint because the contrast of colors actually hid his face rather well, and it takes him only a few minutes to fix himself up.

Once he’s finally done he heads back into his room, sitting at his desk and opening his laptop. He has to maintain some level in independence in continuing with the occasional job, though it’s mostly hacking and computer work that he’s settled for. He should have enough action with the crew to not need to push himself any harder. He doesn’t realize how long he spends hunched over his laptop until there’s a knock on his door, Ryan sitting up with a groan. He grabs his mask and slips it on before he opens the door, Jack standing there holding a plate of food and a cup of coffee.

“Hey there stranger. Do you mind if I come in?” Ryan looks at Jack for a minute before stepping aside and motioning him in. Jack walks over to the table and carefully sets the plate and mug down a good distance away from Ryan’s laptop, not wanting an accident. Jack turns, and Ryan smiles when he sees Jack’s hands moving. He’s still talking aloud, but he’s trying to sign along, and Ryan can appreciate that. “So, I didn’t know how you took your coffee, so it’s just black. Geoff made french toast and omelets, so we just gave you some of everything.”

“ **Thank you, Jack**.” Ryan really does mean it, and Jack grins.

“Not a problem bud. What are you working on?”

“ **Ryan, and I’m doing a job. Hacking a local company.** ” Jack looks confused at Ryan’s phrasing, but then it dawns on him. Ryan has just told Jack his name, knowing that other than Vagabond they didn’t really have anything else to call him. “ **You can tell the others too. I appreciate you guys trying to make me feel welcome. I should probably extend an olive branch as well.”**

Jack laughs and nods, looking almost relieved. Ryan doesn’t realize it, but having a name from one of the most closed off people in the world is amazing. It makes Jack feel as if Ryan is warming up to them, and he’s excited for the prospect. “Well, if you ever need any help with coding, Gavin actually knows quite a bit. He’s usually behind scenes working tech, but this last time we needed the hands.”

Ryan raises his eyebrows, nodding his head. He didn’t know that Gavin knew all that much. He knew that the crew had a tech guy, but he didn’t realize it was one of the main five. Well, six, now he supposes. Ryan nods and says that he’ll keep that in mind, Jack taking his leave. He can see that Ryan wants alone time to work, Ryan standing in the middle of the room as Jack leaves. Once Ryan is alone he goes back to work, eating his food slowly and sipping at coffee.

It’s hours later that Ryan is finally done, or at least, as done as he can be. He’s been stuck for hours on one line of code but he’s too proud to call Gavin in. After another failed attempted Ryan slams his fist on the table, rattling the dishes as Ryan flexes his hand slowly. There’s a knock on the door and Ryan gets up, grabbing his dishes and huffing, going over to the door and flinging it open. Gavin stands on the other side, eyes wide at Ryan’s face paint covered face. He opens his mouth and then closes it, staring up at Ryan, and it’s then that Ryan realizes in his anger he’s left his mask on the desk. He shoves the dishes into Gavin’s hands and slams the door, rushing to get his mask on before he opens it again. He looks positively disheveled, and Gavin is half-turned away, face downtrodden.

Gavin looks back at Ryan with such hope then that Ryan’s heart skips a beat. “ **Did you… Want to come in, or something?** ” Ryan clears his throat after that, Gavin slowly smiling.

“That would be top! I can go put these dishes away, if you wanna hide all your porn mags.” Ryan’s cheeks are warm under the mask but he just shuffles his feet.

“ **I’ll leave the door open**.” Gavin heads off to put the dishes in the kitchen while Ryan flips on the light to his room, straightening his desk up some and standing there in the middle of the room. He’s still a bit panicked about Gavin seeing his face, but he knows the face paint is enough of a shock that he didn’t really see much. Anxiety still claws at his gut, and he jumps when a hand touches his arm lightly. Gavin looks worried, and he drops his hand, a little frown creasing between his eyebrows.

“Are you okay Ryan?” Gavin saying his name makes him jumpier until he remembers he told Jack earlier, and he can hear every breath coming faster and faster. He doesn’t realize he’s shaking, and Gavin moves, going and shutting the door before having Ryan sit on the edge of the bed. He hesitates a moment, unsure what to do before he sits down next to Ryan. His hand is light against Ryan’s back, rubbing a soothing pattern, and it isn’t until Ryan calms down some that he feels Gavin’s hands trembling too. Ryan can’t help himself when he leans, resting his face in Gavin’s hair and letting out a heavy breath. It’s only then that Gavin speaks again. “When I realized you didn’t have you mask on I looked at your forehead. It might seem like I’m lying but I- I won’t lie to you. That could be a lie but that wouldn’t really be a good thing and- oh I buggered it didn’t I? Look, I-”

Ryan covers Gavin’s mouth with one hand, just resting there until Gavin relaxes some and leans against Ryan. After a minute Gavin sits up a bit straighter, gently shrugging Ryan off and looking at him. He looks guilty, and Ryan doesn’t know why for one obtuse moment. Then, he remembers that Gavin is in a relationship with four other people, and he doesn’t think he should be doing this. Ryan stands up then, leaving Gavin on the bed as he sits at his desk. He turns and motions Gavin over, then points at the line of code on his screen.

Gavin comes over slowly, but upon seeing what Ryan is doing he relaxes. “What? You’re missing a colon there, and the phrase is fragmented by this.” Gavin points out a few things and Ryan fixes them, running the problem and almost weeping in relief when it works. Gavin looks at him, and he giggles suddenly. “Is that why you were so flustered when you opened the door? Why didn’t you come get me sooner silly?”

Ryan looks at Gavin, looks back at the program, and shakes his head. “ **I was trying to get it on my own**.”

Gavin smiles at Ryan’s stubbornness, shaking his head. “Two minds are greater than one, yeah? This kinda stuff is kinda the biggest thing I do here, so lemme help once in awhile?”

Ryan looks at Gavin, expecting him to squirm under his stare, but Gavin doesn’t. He seems… Comfortable. After a minute Ryan finally relents and agrees, gavin going to get a chair to help him out with some more programming he’d put off.

Gavin. Ryan ends up spending way too much time in Gavin’s room trying to learn all the different ways that Gavin has to figure out where his code has gone wrong. It amazes him, the way that Gavin’s hands move over the keys with such finesse. Gavin doesn’t seem to be worried at all while he goes, so sure in the fact that he knows what to write and when to write it. Ryan tries his best to use the tricks that Gavin has taught him, but he finds himself going back to Gavin, even if he knows what the problem is. He knows it’s wrong to make Gavin become attached to him, but he can’t help it. He feels somewhat right with him. With all of them, really.

Michael, he gets his alone time with Ryan when they can’t sleep, insomnia plaguing their minds and keeping them from resting. On those nights Ryan plays video games with Michael until Michael eventually manages to drift off somehow. It’s also in the times where Michael will get pissed and try to fight Gavin, only to have to spar off against someone much more formidable. Ryan doesn’t know how many times they’ve slammed each other down on the floor and grappled to pin each other down.

Jeremy, Jeremy is odd. There’s no definitive time when they can just hang out together. It’s sporadic moments when Jeremy wants Ryan to take him on a tour of the city, only it’s Ryan driving, so Jeremy almost gets whiplash each time. When Ryan asks him why he bothers, knowing that his driving shakes him around, Jeremy says it’s like a roller coaster. He never knows what way Ryan will go next and it makes his stomach flip a million different ways. He admits quietly one night, though, that the speed helps him forget about the world. Makes him think that when they’re going that fast, that nothing can catch up with them. Jeremy says the life they live is kinda shit, but it’s the only one they have.

Jack is easy. He’s content to go anywhere, do anything. Save for running a marathon, but Ryan isn’t exactly into that either. They spend their time trying new and weird foods all around town, going to the beach to try and see who can trip the most people in the water, and actually spend a lot of time at the boardwalk theme park. The rides aren’t the most exciting, but they like to go up on the ferris wheel when the sun goes down, look out over the town and know that everything they care about, everything they are is in that city.

Geoff is actually the hardest to hang out with. Geoff loves drinking, and Ryan does not. When they go out to bars it usually involves a lot of billiards, a lot of drinks, and a lot of drunk karaoke from Geoff. Though, Geoff isn’t that entirely selfish. He knows that Ryan doesn’t drink, and by now has the man pegged pretty well. He takes him out to the gun range as often as he can, though as much as they shoot during heists the gun range isn’t really needed. He ends up bringing Ryan to some obscure part of town to watch illegal street racing, which gets Ryan a lot more lively than one would think.

Ryan still prefers his room tucked away from all of them, needing some semblance of privacy, but they all respect that. Ryan isn’t exactly the most open person in the world, and it shows. It takes time for Ryan to warm up to them, and by the time he’s comfortable taking his mask off they’re all millions richer off of heists they’d done after the first big one. The face paint stays on, though, and all of them grumble about him being an onion, whatever that means. He doesn’t get the reference until Jeremy makes him sit through Shrek.

Ryan has the apartment to himself one day surprisingly, and he spends most of his day cleaning. The carpets were looking dingy and he knows that the Lads were hiding things so that they didn’t have to take care of it just yet. Ryan knows all of their hidey holes by now, and he has the apartment spotless by the time that everyone comes in. They’re all chatting and laughing, and Jeremy grins, waving to Ryan.

“C’mon Rye! We’re going to the club! Can’t say no!” To prove a point, Ryan shakes his head and continues picking up, though he’s just doing teeny things now. They always have good timing to whisk him off to do things.

Gavin and Michael whine when Ryan shakes his head, and he sighs heavily. Always with the whining. “We’ll buy you diet cooooooke.” Gavin says suddenly, as if that will convince Ryan to come out to the club.

It does.

Ryan is crammed in between Gavin and Jeremy in the back seat of the car, Michael sitting up front with Geoff and Jack only because the car is old enough to have bench seats. The club they pull up to is bathed in neon lights and completely what Ryan was expecting, but all of the others, even Geoff, seem excited. They all pour out of the car once Geoff parks, and Ryan is practically dragged by each limb, each Lad having a hand on him so he won’t run. There’s a lot of people and they obviously recognize the crew, but apparently it just means a party because the crowd cheers as they head inside. Ryan is practically melting under all the hot lights and nearly choking on the amount of perfume and cologne in the air, but he can’t deny there’s an addictive kind of energy here.

They get their own booth in the back, Ryan sliding in to be tucked in the back, and Geoff immediately goes to the bar to get drinks. It doesn’t take him long to have the Lads and Jack throwing back a couple of shots, Ryan sipping at his straw and watching all of them. He has no doubt that he’s going to end up being the designated driver for tonight, but he lets them have their fun.

“Okay, so we’re pretty well known at this club, but no worries. No one is going to try and shank any of us in the crowd!” Geoff yells over the music, grinning when Ryan snorts and looks around the room.

“It’s true! The club pays a fee to us, that way we’ll come here exclusively! That fee ensures that no one here when we are will harm us!” Jack’s added info doesn’t make Ryan any less distrustful of the crowd, but they know it helps somewhat.

Two more shots later and a song comes on that has Gavin dragging Michael onto the dance floor. Ryan is content to let those two go, watching to see where they’ve gone, but then he’s being tugged on. Ryan shakes his head, protesting, but a puppy dog look from Jeremy has him getting up. Jeremy leads him through the crowd until they have a semi clear spot to dance, and Ryan’s eyes are on Jeremy and Jeremy only as he begins to dance. The beat is flowing through Ryan now, he can feel the vibrations under his feet with every passing moment, can feel the warmth of bodies packed around him. What keeps him from running off the dance floor, though, is Jeremy. Jeremy moves with more of a grace than what Ryan would have assumed from the man, and Ryan can feel himself responding. He knows he’s not nearly as good as the moves that Jeremy is laying out, but he’s distracted. Distracted by the way that Jeremy’s hands seem like they’re everywhere, all at once. Touching his chest, his hips, his waist, his sides. Ryan doesn’t know where Jeremy’s going to touch next but all he knows is he’s following them. Waiting for the next quick touch as Jeremy dances.

Ryan watches the way Jeremy’s body takes the beat and changes it, making it more intricate, more purposeful. Jeremy’s moves are powerful, but not jerky. He rolls from one move to the next so easily that Ryan doesn’t know when one move begins and the other ends. Ryan dances with Jeremy until he can’t dance anymore, gasping in breaths and going to sit down. Jeremy gives Ryan a couple looks as he leaves, and then joins the other two where they’re dancing, Michael seeming needy in the way he follows Gavin’s fluid movements.

Ryan’s mind is reeling with the images of Jeremy dancing, of the feeling of Jeremy’s hands on him, and he flexes his thighs, willing himself down. Ryan chugs his pop and nearly chokes on carbonation just to get himself to calm down somewhat. Geoff and Jack admire their boys out on the dance floor, but they’re seven drinks in and too drunk to notice Ryan’s inner panic. He doesn’t know why Jeremy was dancing with him like that, doesn’t know what it could mean. He knows that the five of them are all together, unassuming in thinking that Ryan is anything to them. Anything more than a friend and comrade. Ryan mulls about it the rest of the night, practically beating himself up over what to do. None of them have expressed any kind of interest, save for the occasional question from Gavin hinting at romance in any way.

Once the Lads finally come back from dancing Geoff loudly announces it's time they split, Jack nodding in agreement. Ryan is the one that ends up helping the two out to the car, Lads following behind. They all pile into the back seat while Ryan gets Jack and Geoff in the front, claiming the driver's seat and getting them home safe. He doesn't drive as rough as he usually does, not wanting to make either of the two drunk men in front vomit. When he glances in the rearview mirror on occasion Gavin is whispering to his Lads, the boys hanging on every word he says. None of them seem to notice when he sits in the car after they've parked, everyone heading up to the penthouse to retire for the night. Ryan knows and is extremely glad that his bedroom is far from the others tonight, and after giving them time to actually make it to their room, Ryan heads up. The elevator doors slide open silently into the darkened apartment, but it's light enough for Ryan to see Gavin against the wall, Michael's teeth leaving dark marks on his neck as he grabs at Gavin's shirt, twisting the material. Ryan feels his stomach clench up tight at the sight and he almost sprints to his room, cheeks on fire and embarrassment flushing through him. He barely gets his pajamas on and face washed before he's throwing himself in bed, wanting to stop thinking for a while. Stop worrying about what everyone is feeling, what they're thinking.

Ryan spends most of the next day in his room, bone tired and not ready to face the rest of the crew, let alone as they nurse hangovers. Ryan is mercifully left alone for the day and he putters around, cleaning a little, working on a program him and Gavin were writing, sleeping. He actually gets a fairly good amount of sleep for once, and the next morning it's like nothing's changed. Ryan makes breakfast for everyone and is his usual self, sans mask. He's got his face paint on, but that's not unusual when he's near the big windows.

Ryan is sitting at the table, nibbling at what's left of his omelet when he spots Gavin staring at him. Gavin locks eyes with Ryan and slowly licks his lips, biting into an apple and making a shudder go through Ryan. His grip goes white knuckled around his fork but he can't tear his eyes away, Gavin taking another purposeful bite. Ryan's eyes dart down and Jesus Christ, the amount of marks and bruises on his throat make him look like he got strangled. Why was he wearing such a low-cut shirt? Ryan throws his fork onto his plate then, taking what dishes he can and going into the kitchen to wash them. He scrubs perhaps a bit harder than necessary, but he does it to distract himself from thoughts of seeing Gavin and Michael that night. He doesn't need to be thinking about it.

Ryan finishes up what he can and he’s about to drain the sink when more dishes are added. Ryan feels like all of his nerves are on fire when Gavin brushes up against him, a soft noise coming from his lips that is more sinful than what Ryan would like. The plate he’d picked up snaps in his hand then, Ryan letting out a sharp breath. He doesn’t look at Gavin as he picks the large pieces out of the water and drains the sink, redoing his washing water. The broken plate gets bagged up by Jack who says something to Ryan about not knowing his own strength, but Ryan knows it and dear lord is it getting tested.

Ryan finishes up the dishes finally without being bothered by Gavin, but when he goes out to the living room and looks at Gavin sprawled on the couch, Michael sitting between his legs focused on a game, he about loses it again. He knows Gavin is doing this to get a rise out of him and he’s ashamed that it’s working. Geoff grins when he sees Ryan, waving him over, but Ryan turns and heads down the hall, door slamming behind him and leaving Geoff looking confused.

“What’s up with him?” Gavin shrugs but looks infinitely smug, settling down on the couch.

Ryan paces around his room, about ready to scream. What in the hell did Gavin think he was doing? They’d all kept any kind of desire or interest away from Ryan. Gavin had four other soulmates, so why was he trying to tease Ryan? Ryan knows exactly why, and his hand gently touches his lower back. The words are ingrained in his mind, burned into his skin, and his hands clench into fists then. He made a mistake in being here, living with all of them. He thought he could handle it, but every moment he spends here shoves him closer and closer to the edge of a cliff he’s not sure he wants to jump off of yet.

Ryan goes and sits down heavily at his desk, resting his head in his hands. He doesn’t know what he’s doing here anymore, but he can’t bring himself to leave, nor would he want to. He finally has something here and he’s not going to give it up just because he’s scared. Before he starts anything he goes to wash his face, planning on staying in the room the rest of the day with how Gavin is acting. Once he gets back to his desk he plops down, staring at the screen blankly. Ryan sighs and gets to work on the program only to find that it’s been finished. Ryan frowns, looking through, and it doesn’t look at all like what Ryan was doing. With a start Ryan realizes this is a completely different program, not the one he’d meant to pull up. Poking around in his files shows that unless he runs the program nothing is going to work, and he does so begrudgingly.

Ryan stares in shock as it opens up the file Ryan was working on and pastes a bunch of code, a little kissy face appearing before the program shuts down and leaves Ryan with all his work finished. Ryan doesn’t know how Gavin did it on his computer, but he knows this is the ‘job’ Gavin had said he was working on when Ryan went to him for help earlier in the week. Ryan doesn’t know whether to be grateful that the program is finally done or mad that Gavin is obviously flaunting his skill. Is Gavin trying to impress him or gloat? It doesn’t really matter he supposes, because Ryan was already impressed with Gavin’s skills.

Ryan doesn’t really have anything more to do, then, since Gavin has finished the program without him. He doesn’t want to go back out there, not yet, not when everything is so intense. He feels like a coward for hiding in his room, but he can’t help himself. He knew it would be easy to confront Gavin, to get him to stop, but he won’t. He can’t. This is his choice, to let this continue, to reveal himself, to… To… Ryan doesn’t know what else he could do, but it would seem it doesn’t matter because there’s a knock on his door. Ryan stiffens, standing up and going to the door slowly. He cracks the door open, peeks out, and sees the last person he wants to see.

Gavin doesn’t give him a chance to close the door, though, sticking his foot in the door. Ryan knows it would be easy to slam the door on his foot, but he won’t. Ryan opens the door up finally, and Gavin comes in, taking one look at the computer before he grins crookedly at Ryan.

“Finally ran my program did you?” Ryan nods, hands clenched at his sides, and Gavin seems smug. It makes Ryan even more nervous, and he huffs softly. Gavin takes a couple steps closer, looking at Ryan in faux concern as he places a hand on Ryan’s chest. “What’s wrong? You seemed stressed out earlier. Did you wanna do something to relax?”

Ryan stares at Gavin, wondering if he’s serious. Wondering if he’s actually doing this right now. Ryan nods, and Gavin grins wider, taking a step closer only for Ryan to push him back. Ryan pushes until the backs of Gavin’s thighs and his butt are pressed against the desk, Gavin gasping softly. Ryan stares at him for a moment, hands trembling, and then he slowly drops down to his knees, staring up at Gavin as Gavin’s pupils blow wide. Ryan is tired of trying to pretend, tired of tricking himself into thinking that he doesn’t want this. If there’s one thing Ryan wants, it’s this. He spends too much time instructing others to want the same in moments like these.

Gavin seems content though to slide a hand through Ryan’s hair, a throaty chuckle making Ryan tilt his head up just a bit. “Look at you, love. Down on your knees already, without even needing to be told.”

Ryan would normally find that offensive, but there’s something in the way that Gavin says it, pets through his hair that makes it okay. Ryan leans into whatever touches Gavin is willing to give, eyes closing. Gavin’s fingers trace down the side of Ryan’s face, and Ryan opens his eyes, looking up at Gavin as Gavin slides his thumb over Ryan’s lower lip. His tongue flicks out, lapping at Gavin’s finger, and there’s a lazy smile on Gavin’s face. Ryan nips at Gavin’s finger, Gavin pushing his thumb into Ryan’s mouth, Ryan automatically sucking on the appendage.

Gavin seems to realize something then, because he makes a soft noise. “You like having things in your mouth, don’t you?” Ryan nods, confirming Gavin’s question, and he tugs his thumb out of Ryan’s mouth. He smears the wetness over Ryan’s lips, looking at him rather seriously for a moment. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

Ryan pauses for only a split second when Gavin asks, nodding and shuffling a little bit closer to Gavin. He places his hands on Gavin’s thighs and that seems to be all the permission Gavin needs. It’s all the permission Ryan needs to lean in, tugging on the button of Gavin’s pants with his teeth until he finally manages to get them open. It doesn’t seem like it would sexy, but the intake of breath from Gavin has Ryan thinking otherwise.

“Oh Ryan. You're so talented with that mouth of yours. Show me more, love.”

Ryan looks up at Gavin, cheeks the faintest pink as his fingers inch to hook the waistband of Gavin’s pants. He tugs gently, but it isn’t hard to expose Gavin to him. The first thing Ryan realizes is that Gavin us uncut. He should have figured that, seeing as he wasn’t born here, but the second thing that gets him, is how much his mouth is starting to water.

Ryan can’t help himself when he leans forward, lapping at the tip of Gavin’s cock and loving the intake of breath that earns him. What he doesn’t expect is for Gavin to talk again, and certainly not the way he does as he squirms.

“Ryan you’re absolutely lovely and you’ve hardly done anything. You’re doing a perfect job. Oh, you’re so good.”

Ryan can feel the warmth of his cheeks as he flushes, and he momentarily loses track of what he’s doing while thinking about what Gavin is saying to him. Ryan shakes himself from his reverie by licking a hot stripe down Gavin’s cock and enjoying the noises Gavin doesn’t bother to stifle.

Ryan glances up for a minute, looks at the lines of Gavin’s body as he leans back, one of Ryan’s hands coming up to slowly start pumping Gavin’s cock. While merely tasting is nice, Ryan aches to do more, and he slowly takes Gavin’s cock into his mouth, suckling softly and working himself down. He fits as much as he can before he has to pull back, panting, and fuck it’s been a long time since he’s done this, but he isn’t a quitter.

He can see Gavin toss his head back as Ryan takes Gavin back into his mouth, unwilling not to have Gavin in his mouth. He uses his tongue to the best of his ability, lapping at the head of Gavin’s cock and tongue slipping past Gavin’s foreskin. The head of Gavin’s cock has to be sensitive because the way that Gavin sings praises for him when he swirls his tongue around the head has Ryan’s cock twitching in interest.

“Lovely Ryan, oh, my perfect, wonderful Ryan, that’s- oh, just like that!”

Ryan licks the slit of Gavin’s cock and pointedly sucks on the head, cock throbbing at the noise Gavin lets out. Ryan hardly notices when he palms himself through his jeans, trying to calm himself down some so that he can focus on Gavin. It’s surprisingly easy to do so, and he focuses on the taste, the smells, the feeling of Gavin’s cock in his mouth, in his hand as he strokes him quickly.

Ryan’s tongue strays a few times, but he keeps coming back to play with the head of Gavin’s cock, loving the way that Gavin’s thighs twitch with the stimulation. Ryan hums softly for a second, thinking, then slides down before Gavin notices, gagging softly as Gavin’s cock slides into his throat. Ryan has to blink a few times, swallows once involuntarily, but the praise and words falling from Gavin’s lips in response is reward enough to keep Ryan going.

“Oh fuck Ryan! Your throat- you’re so tight, oh, oh-!”

Ryan would smile did he not have a mouthful of cock, but he knows he’s doing well. It’s not his first time around the block, and he almost snorts a laugh when he thinks about the quote on his back. If only Gavin knew the full extent of the irony of right now. Ryan loses that train of thought quickly, though, bobbing his head and settling into a rhythm. He enjoys having Gavin’s cock sliding into his throat just as much as he enjoys teasing at Gavin’s foreskin, Ryan leaning into Gavin’s hand that slides through his hair.

It doesn’t take long for Gavin to start grabbing at his hair, body curling forward a little bit. Ryan can feel Gavin’s cock twitch when Ryan swirls his tongue around the head and slides down further, gagging softly and swallowing around Gavin the best that he can. He can faintly hear someone make a noise akin to slurping, and he knows it isn’t him. He realizes that Gavin is probably almost drooling, and that thought makes a bit of pride stick in his chest.

Gavin starts gasping out little noises, and Ryan swallows around Gavin’s cock again, pulling back just enough to give the most simulation to the sensitive head. He’s thrilled that Gavin seems to be so sensitive at the tip, and he bobs his head a little faster now. Gavin puffs out a warning almost too late, whining softly and hips jerking a bit as Ryan swallows around him, Gavin cumming down his throat with a soft muttering of Ryan’s name. Ryan doesn’t pull away until Gavin is nearly pushing him off, twitching from overstimulation and panting.

Ryan pulls back to take a few deep breaths, swallowing before he’s being yanked to his feet. Ryan’s brain shorts out when suddenly Gavin’s lips are on his, and holy fuck Gavin is going for gold. Ryan is quick to lose himself in the way that Gavin licks into his mouth, uncaring about what Ryan was just doing and needing to kiss Ryan, to pull him close until there’s no space left between them. Ryan is the one panting now when Gavin pulls back, and his next words nearly make Ryan’s knees buckle.

“You’ve been so good for me. My perfect Ryan. I need to let you know how good you’ve been. I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel. Sit by the top of the bed for me, would you love?”

Gavin’s hair is starting to curl from the way that he’s been sweating, the gel not able to hold up, and Ryan finds himself running a hand through, messing it up. He remembers Gavin’s command suddenly, and he steals a quick kiss, heading over to his bed and crawling up to the head of the bed. He sits in the middle, just a little off to the side and leans back against the headboard, trying to seem relaxed even though his eyes follow every move that Gavin makes. Ryan doesn’t know how disheveled he looks like this, hair sticking up all kinds of different ways from Gavin’s hands in his hair, but it certainly seems pleasing to Gavin.

Ryan watches in rapt attention as Gavin gently tucks himself away, taking slow steps toward the bed as he keeps his briefs but kicks away his jeans. Ryan’s eyes go to the phrase wrapped around Gavin’s thigh briefly, but then he’s staring at Gavin, eyes catching every detail so he never forgets it.

Gavin stops at the foot of the bed, directly across from him, and slowly places one knee on the bed. It’s so slow, so deliberate that if Ryan didn’t know any better he’d think that Gavin was acting. Gavin crawls his way up the bed, and fuck Ryan doesn’t realize how pent up he is until Gavin is palming him, muttering dirty words that make Ryan flush all over.

“Mmm, I’ll bet you taste as divine as you feel. But that’s not for now, is it? I just want to make you feel good. You deserve it. You’re so good, Ryan.”

Ryan distantly knows that Gavin has figured out that he likes praise by now, but he throws that thought out the window as Gavin slowly undoes his pants, hand slipping under the waistband of Ryan’s underwear and taking hold of him. Ryan bites his lip when Gavin smears precum with the pad of his thumb, a soft laugh coming from Gavin that has Ryan looking at him, eyes a little wide in worry. Gavin chases that worry away with a searing kiss, and even more dirty words.

“It’s like you were made with me in mind. You have everything I adore, a perfect mouth, perfect cock. I’ll bet if you wanted, this would stuff me full in every way that I crave, wouldn’t it? It’d make me so happy.”

Gavin’s thumb swipes over his slit again, smearing even more wetness, and Ryan’s head tips back, adam's apple bobbing just slightly as he swallows. His hips twitch as Gavin starts stroking him and he can’t help the way his fingers twist into his bed sheets, mangling the unwrinkled fabric.

Ryan feels like he could burst any second, whole body hot and heat continuing to build. Ryan’s eyebrows scrunch just a bit but they move upwards, not at all angry, more overwhelmed by the pleasure of Gavin’s hand on him.

“My sweet, lovely Ryan. Make me so happy, so good for me. Imagine how much everyone will love you. We’d all love you, feel the way you want to please us all. My darling Ryan would be able to do it, so talented.”

Ryan’s eyes fly open at the mention of all the others, and fuck if the thought of all the rest of them doesn’t make his cock twitch in Gavin’s hand. Ryan can feel himself inching closer and closer to the edge, and he pants raggedly, hips twitching and Ryan gripping the sheet under him so hard his knuckles are white. He can’t remember the last time that anyone else has touched him like this, and he’s almost embarrassed how quickly he moves toward the edge. Gavin’s hand starts moving faster and Ryan almost whimpers then, breaths coming faster now as heat builds in his core, hotter and hotter each second.

“God, you’re so perfect. So, so perfect. So good. You wouldn’t cum until we told you, would you? You’d do anything to please us. I wouldn’t dare hold you back, love. I’ll bet your face is beautiful when you reach your peak. Show us, wouldn’t you? Cum for me, Ryan.”

Ryan gasps as Gavin’s hand speeds up just a fraction more, and Gavin seems enraptured by it. Ryan can’t last much longer, not with Gavin’s voice in his ears, praise in his head, and the sound of Gavin crooning his name, telling him to let go. Ryan’s back arches away from the headboard when he finally does cum, Ryan making a noise deep in his chest that’s completely indescribable and so perfectly Ryan.

Gavin watches, eyes wide as Ryan cums over his hand, Gavin stroking Ryan until his hips are sliding back just a bit and his thighs are twitching wildly. Ryan is slow to come down, and Gavin is grinning lazily as he licks his hand clean. “Fuck Rye, you look wonderful.”

Ryan’s cheeks are already flushed to the point where they can’t get any redder, and he sits up slowly, kissing Gavin hard. Gavin leans into his touches, and he giggles when Ryan all of a sudden blows a raspberry on his lips. Ryan doesn’t let Gavin get away though, and he smiles as Gavin giggles again. Ryan does unfortunately have to let Gavin go to talk, and Gavin watches curiously. “Did you want to shower or anything? We can just sleep too, but I could use a nap.” Ryan sees Gavin think it over for approximately two seconds before he strips his shirt off and tugs at Ryan’s. Ryan’s heart thuds oddly in his chest suddenly and he gently touches Gavin’s hands, shaking his head softly. Gavin looks wounded, but Ryan kisses him softly. He doesn’t want to say anything, not yet, so he just strips his jeans off and lifts Gavin up, tucking them both under the blankets with only minor difficulty.

Ryan tucks himself up against Gavin’s back, draping his arm over Gavin’s hips and kissing the back of his neck. This makes Gavin giggle again, and Ryan feels the vibrations of Gavin’s voice reverberate into his bones. “Quit tickling you silly little sausage! Go to sleep now, love.” Ryan laughs along with Gavin, but settles down soon, closing his eyes and just laying there with Gavin in his arms.

They sleep uninterrupted for a few blissful hours, Ryan sufficiently tuckered out and Gavin always up for a nap. It’s late that night when Gavin slips out of bed, going to take a whiz to relieve his poor bladder. Once he’s washed his hands he slowly goes back to bed, looking at Ryan asleep in bed. His face is so incredibly peaceful like this, unbothered, and all of a sudden something ugly rears its’ head in Gavin.

He can’t stop the tears that slide down his cheeks, and pretty soon he’s crying, full on sobbing as he sits at the end of the bed, shoulders shaking and heart painful. Gavin wants so badly for this to be real, but the thought of Ryan with someone else, knowing he’s distracting Ryan from who he’s truly meant to be with… He should have listened to Geoff’s warning, but he can’t stop the way his heart breaks at the thought of Ryan with someone else. He fits so well here, he really does and Gavin doesn’t want to lose that.

Gavin is sobbing when Ryan wakes up, and Ryan sits up, almost launching himself out of bed as he goes to kneel in front of Gavin. His face is so worried then, and he takes Gavin’s hands, urging him to look him in the eyes. It takes Gavin a few minutes to manage it, and when he does, fresh tears come.

“Oh Ryan, I-I’m so sorry I just- you fit so well in here with us but I know that you have someone else waiting for you and it’s killing me.”

Ryan blinks in shock at Gavin, but he can hear how much Gavin is hurting and he doesn’t know what else to do, so he kisses him. He presses up and into Gavin’s space, kissing him until he’s breathless and his tears stop coming. Gavin clings to Ryan, hiccuping against his lips as his sobs slow, and it’s only once Gavin seems to have calmed down some that Ryan leans back. Ryan doesn’t say anything at first, but he’s just thinking about what he wants to say.

“ **I want to show you something.** ”

Gavin goes to speak, but Ryan touches his finger to Gavin’s lip to silence him. Ryan stands up and goes to turn the light on, coming back and turning his back to Gavin. Gavin doesn’t understand, and he splutters when Ryan pulls his underwear down a little bit and lifts his shirt. It reveals the flowing script tramp stamp that he’s hidden for so long, and Gavin misses the way that Ryan’s hands are trembling in nervousness.

The first thing Gavin does is laugh. “That’s what I asked you in the car! Wait- wot? Why would you get that tattooed?” There’s an obtuse moment of silence, tension growing with each moment until Gavin gasps. “Oh shit.” He whispers, reaching out with shaking fingers to trace the words in Ryan’s skin.

Ryan’s whole body is shaking now when Gavin finally understands, and Ryan turns around, fixing his underwear. “ **I have something else I need to show you. Please, try to be quiet?”**

Gavin makes a motion like he’s zipping his lips, locking it and throwing away the key. Ryan sighs heavily, fingers curling around the edge of his shirt before he yanks it up over his head, tossing it on the bed. Gavin notices the very nice physique first of course, but then he sees even more phrases. Four more phrases to be exact. Ryan touches the one on his chest. Jack. The next on his ribcage. Gavin can recognize that as Jeremy. The one that Ryan has on his forearm, all Michael. Gavin can tell. The one half obscured by Ryan’s underwear is the only one left, obviously Geoff’s. Gavin remembers Geoff talking about what he said to Ryan that night when trying to recruit him.

There’s only two seconds of silence before Gavin is squealing, bouncing to his feet and giving Ryan the tightest hug he’s ever been in. Not that Ryan has been in many hugs, but that’s not the point. Ryan shushes Gavin, trying to not have him wake up the whole apartment.

Gavin is astonished, and he holds Ryan’s hands, eyes wide. “We have to tell everyone, Rye! All this time, we felt like something was missing and it was you! No wonder we didn’t know, you’ve never said a word, have you love?” Ryan shakes his head, eyes wide, and he grips Gavin’s hands tight. Gavin can read all the lines of tension in Ryan’s body, and he’s so nervous right now. Gavin is confused for a minute until he feels and sees Ryan shaking, Gavin looking at him softly. “Oh Rye, it’s been so long that you’ve kept this a secret. It must make you so nervous to think about. I can- I can be there, holding your hand when you show them. I won’t make you now, it can be our secret of course, but- They deserve to know. Especially… Especially now, when everyone was thinking about you joining. Well, almost everyone. Michael has his doubts, and I think Geoff does too, but when they see that you’re our soulmate they- they’ll come around!”

Ryan looks at Gavin, so vulnerable, and for the first time, scared, that Gavin has to kiss him, hugging him and urging him back into bed. Gavin goes to turn off the light again and then climbs into bed, curling up with Ryan and holding his hand. Gavin doesn’t say anything, but it’ll be a talk for tomorrow morning. Gavin isn’t going to push, just glad that Ryan showed him, and he whispers a soft thank you just before they fall asleep.

______________

Ryan wakes up to a hand running through his hair and gentle kisses on his cheeks, Ryan wrinkling his nose and making a little huffy noise. He loops his arm around the offending person trying to wake him up and promptly snuggles him into bed, Ryan settling down again. The person underneath him though is not quite as willing to settle down and he squawks, patting at Ryan’s chest. “Ryaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan c’mon, I’m hungry and it’s time for breakfast!”

Ryan grumbles and writes something about cereal on Gavin’s chest with his finger, but Gavin whines. Eventually that whining forces Ryan out of bed and into the shower, Gavin happily joining to get clean. Ryan even lets Gavin borrow a shirt, Ryan hesitating in front of the mirror. He stares at himself for a minute, then starts fixing his face up. It’s not his usual face paint, just some eye makeup that makes his eyes brighter, a deeper blue. Ryan takes time getting dressed, wearing his typical long sleeve and looking at Gavin. Gavin gives a thumbs up from the bathroom, somehow having brought his own eyeliner to use. When Ryan comes over he openly admires the gold lining Gavin’s upper lids, a small smile gracing his lips.

Gavin grins back and lets Ryan pull his hair back before heading out to start breakfast. Well, Ryan is going to start breakfast, Gavin goes to flop on Geoff, grinning and giving him a good morning kiss. Ryan is glad for the time alone in making breakfast, left to his own thoughts and his heavy beating heart. He’s convinced, ready to show them all, but as they sit at the table, everyone starving and a little bleary eyed, Ryan is losing his nerve quickly. Gavin smiles at him from across the table, and that calms Ryan enough to tell everyone he’d like to show them something after breakfast.

Geoff is the first to ask, curious. “What’re you showing us, buddy?”

“Yeah, it isn’t like, a dismembered head or anything right?” Michael pipes up, Ryan sighing. That was one time he did that!

Jack laughs though, patting Michael’s shoulder lightly. “You know he doesn’t repeat things twice. It would be a hand or something this time.” Everyone laughs and Ryan huffs, eating his breakfast and grumbling some more. Gavin giggles at the way Ryan is acting, and even helps him with dishes. Everyone has gathered in the living room while they wash dishes, and Ryan is almost hyperventilating by the time they’re finished.

Ryan looks at everyone sitting around in the living room and he panics, taking a step away from them all. Gavin catches Ryan’s arm, looking at him and giving him a sweet, gentle kiss. “It’s okay Ryan, they want to know.”

It’s most definitely not okay, but Gavin’s hand in his gives him the strength to walk out into the living room, standing in front of the TV where everyone can see him. They all look at him curiously, and Ryan takes a deep breath, grabbing the edge of his shirt and lifting it off over his head.

“Woah! Ryan I know we’re an open family but we don’t need to-” Jack cuts off suddenly when Ryan gets the shirt out of the way, setting it on the coffee table. Everyone is silent as they take in all of the words inscribed on Ryan’s body, though Ryan has to lift his arm some to show off Jeremy’s.

“Is that-” Jack whispers, eyes wide and pinned to Ryan’s chest.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Michael stares at Ryan’s arm, frown on his face.

“Oh god, why didn’t I say something cooler?” Jeremy says, covering his face with his hands.

Geoff sees the first part of his phrase, the one that got him chokeslammed, and that confirms it. “Huh.” Is all he says, Ryan looking to Gavin because this is not at all what he thought would happen. Gavin laughs when all their reactions are underwhelming to the outrage Ryan was imagining, and Ryan looks pitiful when Gavin laughs at him.

Gavin coos when he sees Ryan’s sad eyes and goes over, giving him a smooch and patting his head. “You can put your shirt back on love, they’ve all seen theirs.”

Ryan is glad to put his shirt on, not really one to just sit around with his shirt off in the first place. It’s Geoff that speaks up again, but it’s more directed toward Gavin than anything else. “Looks like you were right about him fitting in here. It makes sense none of us have tattoos for him.”

Gavin beams, and he nods. He looks to Ryan only to see that he’s gone to cram himself on the couch, embarrassed even though Jeremy just laughs and pats him on the head.

Geoff still has reservations, almost in disbelief still, but Ryan wouldn’t go through all this trouble to fake being their soulmates. If he really wanted to, he could have just asked to join them when the time was right. Jack, Jeremy and Gavin all would have welcomed him with open arms. Michael would have taken longer, still thrown off by Ryan’s creepy antics, but Geoff could see that Michael was falling in love. It was hard not to with the way Ryan doted over all of them, making sure they were safe, well fed, rested.

Ryan doesn’t avoid the crew for the rest of the day persay, but he’s nervous, thinking that their acceptance is a fluke and they’ll start yelling any minute.

It takes a solid month before Ryan has settled into being open with all of them, but even Michael seems to gravitate toward him when looking for a midnight cuddle or a gooey cheesy snack, made with his special cheese. Geoff is perhaps the most hesitant, with being chokeslammed and all so long ago, but Ryan is so impossibly sweet to him. When Geoff commands him he does exactly what is told of him, no matter how silly the request, and Ryan actually cuddles up to Geoff a lot.

Ryan opens up to them about his past slowly and painfully, and there are a lot of nights spent sitting in the living room alone, nightmares plaguing him until a lad comes along, snuggling up to him and not saying a word, just falling asleep in Ryan’s arms with the hopes that their presence makes it easier.

Their life is messy and complicated, and very, very busy with six people running around all the time, but since when did any of them accept easy? They lived their lives to the fullest with no regrets, and no one could blame them for wanting to live as free as possible. Their dynamic is weird and jumpy and takes a long time to smooth out, but Ryan tries. He tries for all their sakes, because for the first time in his life, the first time since he got his first tattoo so long ago, he feels like he belongs. He’d follow these men to the end of the Earth and further if it meant staying with them, and he would fight to the death to make sure they were safe. They were his on a level greater than he could understand, and no one would take them away from him, not now, not ever. 


End file.
